The unwritten rules that we follow day in, day out, who actually came up with them? who decided white is better than black or morning the best time to work? ok,maybe that is pushing it a bit too far but honestly, who made the rules we so faithfully follow?
when it is said that ignorance is bliss, i believe it is to some extent. you cannot be bothered by what you don’t know and once you know, you cannot really act like you don’t, you will have to do something about it and that is why today i find myself wondering if it wouldn’t have been safer for me to pick up The Zahir to read for the second time. I read it the first time and it left a mark. Now as i re read it, it makes more sense and i can assure you that i was going through something that i figured this book will help me figure out due to the principles in it and it is doing just that. Life will never bring you a lesson before you are ready for it. I don’t know if that makes much sense but what I actually wanted to say is that life’s lessons are always on time.Moving on….
The Zahir has me asking a lot of questions that probably have many uncomfortable just thinking about them. Questions that challenge the status quo;the way life is lived;the way you have always known things to be. One of the questions is ‘I am happy?’ and that leads to another,’what does it mean exactly to be happy?’I am still pondering that….
Back to the rules…I have a job,which I enjoy.I guess it’s because dealing with people is one of my favorite pastimes. I am a receptionist at an advertising agency. It is a good place to be at. Nice people. Fun people. Front office is a means for survival, literally. I am here because I have bills to pay. Ok, as i mentioned, i enjoy it. Maybe its more like I don’t mind it?I don’t know which is which but it’s ok. I do not go home grumbling how much i hate my work.Is it what I would raher do? Nope. I am an arty perosn. I love space and nature. I love working with my hands and I also love planning. I love being on the go. I am pursuing Public Relations, I love people. I love working with people. I love events and organizing them.I am definitely not where I want to be. There is something we call ambition and you being comfortable in a situation where others deem beneath,is a sign of lack of ambition.And so people have these paths that they believe if you follow you will get out of point A to point B.I have this pressure,from people close to me.Telling me that I have to do whatever now,until I get to be able to do what I want.I thought for you to do what you want you just go out and do it?Ok,the world works differently. I need to survive,so I will do whatever can give me an income just so I can survive.I work for the bills.Would it be ok if I said ‘this is not where I want to be,but can you let me be here until i get a bus to where i want to be?’I will be told i am not ambitious.I am not self driven.It is better if I take many buses to that place and this means, do whatever,as long as you are climbing up the corporate ladder which most of the time is equated to the salary you are taking home. If I was earning as much as an MD, though a receptionist,would that be a problem? Would that be ok?
Truth is, there are jobs that are considered Jobs and others,well…Truth also is that someone has to do something,we can’t all be CEO’s. So what do we mean when we are telling each other to aim higher.To aim to be the next managers and whatever? What do we actually mean?What exactly are we trying to gain?What are we chasing after?If there was no receptionist,you as the MD would not be able to do what you do as smoothly as you do but if we are all to aim higher then who will do the seemingly ‘odd’ jobs? Thing is I know where I want to go. I have not yet decided on which means of transport to use to get me there and therein lies the dilemma.But a decision has to be made. I know life is a process.One step at a time and I do not have a problem if every step i take actually leads me to the place I want to be and not take me to a totally different direction.
A rebel I am becoming.I can feel it. An d if I continue on ths path I know I will take the plunge. I will go ahead and do that which seems very odd and absurd but if it makes sense to me and I am not upsetting anyone else then you know what,I will just do it. A leap of faith. A step away from what the world thinks should be done. I mean,how doe it reflect to me as an individual? Is it making sense to me? With every rising sun,I am a step closer to my grave and I just wonder if I really have forever to finally get around to what it is i love doing.
I lost one of the girls i used to mentor like two weeks ago and she was 18.I do not have all eternity.I may be going out on a limb here but I want my life to make sense to me.I need it to.I know what society thinks and expects;know what the status quo is but i do not want to be just another statistic of life.I am more than that.And now I am uncomfortable.Very uncomfortable i should add.With where I am.With what I am doing with my minutes.And I am happy that I am uncomfortable coz that means that something in me is stirring;brewing and when it will be ready,it will be ready.
Rules that we follow on a day to day basis.Who set them? Where did they get the authority from?Who says they know best?I’m simply trying to find meaning in things i do,and say and believe in.Trying to understand how they affect me personaly and if they make sense to me as an individual…