HIV Positive….dear friend

Dear Friend,

hope this letter finds you well, ok,better from the last one you sent me. let me start by apologizing for taking this long to get back to you.When i received your letter,telling me about your HIV status,I was taken aback and I needed time to recollect my thoughts and emotions lest I caused your ray of hope to dim even darker.I guess I was shocked,not in a judgmental kind of way.I guess it’s one of those things you think happens to other people and when it arrives at your door step,you do not really know how to handle it at first.I was also concerned about you and especially the tone i got from your letter.I wished I could be with you but life and distance cannot allow that so I hope that you will feel my love through this letter and know that I am near,though far,upholding you in my prayers and holding you close at heart.

I have to confess,I cried with you as I read the letter.I could feel your pain and confusion and it hurt me so.After my tears halted and my thoughts cleared.I smiled and I guess I found my silver lining in this cloud.I was grateful that in the world today,being HIV- positive is no longer a death sentence.That thanks to ARV’S combined with proper dieting,you can live long enough to see your great grand children and die of old age.That was my silver lining and I know it may not seem like much comfort to you now,but at some point you will realize it does make life easier.

I will not claim to understand what you are going through or feeling,because I don’t.I will insult you by pretending I do.I will only go by what you wrote and try to be a source of comfort and encouragement through that.You were concerned about how to break the news to your family,concerned about the stigma you may receive and even suicide crossed your mind.The latter option I guess you felt would just save you all you have to face and deal with and that I know how it feels.To think that ending one’s life will solve everything?It actually does not.It just goes to abort the purpose of your life before it fully matures and that does not solve anything.I know that you are a strong someone,though you may not feel like it right now.That’s why I am here,hoping to be your strength until you can find your own.So I beg you,do not end your life.

I have been reading more about HIV/AIDS since your e mail and discovered just how ignorant I have been but anyway,I am now more enlightened on the whole thing and that gives me even more hope for you.I know you had some concerns about probably never being able to have kids but there is actually a possibility of you giving birth to HIV negative children,this of course with help from your doctor.I mean there is a certain lady by the name of Asunta who has been positive for the 25 years now and she has two children,who are both negative!She gave me hope for you.I am sure if you google her you will find something on her.She is usually a columnist in one of our major newspapers back here at home.She is a a bundle of hope and encouragement.

Once the shock has settled.Once you have accepted what is.You can work on forgiving the person responsible,for your own sake.Don’t allow yourself to become bitter.It will only poison you and kill you faster than the disease.Take your time to be mad and angry and to vent but don’t let this anger grow in you.Do not harbor it.The sooner you let it go and start thinking positively,the faster we will look for ways to work it all out.I know it’s not easy.But forgiveness is always a gift to ourselves though it feels not like that.Ask anyone who has harbored a grudge long enough.They will tell you what a load it is.A heavy and unnecessary load.But take time my dear.I will be here.

About your family.Well,well,well,that’s tricky.I know you have not had the smoothest of relationships but there is nothing beyond help.It is not an emergency really and you can talk to them when you feel ready to talk to them about it.If there is one of them you feel you can trust and count on them for strength,you can inform them but do not feel any pressure to tell anyone about it.As I mentioned earlier,it is no death sentence.So take your time.Be sure that you are totally ok with all these first,before you go involving people.The last thing you need right now is negative energy and so I think the fewer people know,the better,again,until you feel confident in yourself to go public with this information,but otherwise,no pressure.

Dearest,this is not the end of life.It may cause you to look at life differently.It may need you to be a bit more careful than you were before but it has no major difficulties attached to it.And with the right support,you will be surprised even at yourself at how your life will just be like it was before this happened if not better.There is nothing that you were doing before that you cannot do now,so do not stay down too long,there is so much life for you to still live.And oh,the stigma bit,well as we said,it is not something the whole world needs to know and even if it leaks somehow,just remember that you are still a whole human being and you are still beautiful and precious and loved.Whoever will shun you because of it,well,good riddance.At least you will know they are not your friends and again,you only need a few true friends in your life,not the whole world.But as I said,I am here.I will be here.I will travel to see you as often as time and circumstances allow me and we will walk this journey together!

I love you my dear friend.And thank you for confiding in me.

Till we meet or talk again,

take care and keep your head up.

xoxo

Imperfectous.

 

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