I woke up today, read my daily devotion plans and both were talking about letting God be at the center of everything I did. I played Damitta Haddon’s “It all belongs to you” in the background as I felt it best represented the posture of my heart; that of surrender. And I asked God to take control because me on the driver’s seat has led to too many accidents and I am quite tired of the emergency room.
Part of it was me laying down my plans at the feet at Jesus and asking Him to lead and guide all the next steps I have to take and for me to be humble and remember that I am His vessel and tool for Him to use as He deems fit. And I lay my future in His hands as well. Because I am tired of the start-stop life I feel I have been living.
And true to God’s style, after I have finished my devotion and I am at the sink washing my face and all, He drops these three words in my spirit:
Give Yourself Time
And He goes ahead to break it down for me. My problem is not that I am not great or capable; it’s that I lack patience and I don’t put in the work required to actually see the seed turn into a tree and bear fruits. I give up too quickly because I am busy comparing myself to those around me and wanting to prove a point and not look like I’m just dilly-dallying, I end up shooting myself in the foot.
Not the easiest words to hear about yourself, especially when you pride yourself in having it together but then because the Lord is always gentle and loving in His correction, your heart is always open to receive from Him which makes it possible for you to actually pay attention to what is being said as opposed to feeling like you need to be defending yourself.
A reminder that I so needed because I have been feeling like I am in a rut and like my life is not going the way I had planned and blaming everyone else but not taking responsibility. And realising that the prayer I made about surrender and humility really needs to come to pass because. My life truly is not my own and I am but a steward/ manager and as thus, I need to follow the instructions the true owner has for me.
This has given me some peace. I know there are things I need to let go of. I know I need to put my head down for a while, and yes, go on a sort of hiatus where I just focus on me, without seeking anyone else’s approval because God has already approved of me and that is the most important of all approvals. I have been living life to prove a point and rove my worth and God says that’s not why He created me. It’s time to get back to the basics and be true to me, without much outside influence and simply live my truth. And give myself time.
I don’t know where you are in your life but I know there’s someone out there who needs to hear this and just “Give Yourself Time.” It will all come together. Don’t be in too much of a hurry, you could miss something important, like a clue to your next phase. The Bible says there is a time for everything. As long as you are still on track, keep moving and now that God does make everything beautiful in it’s time and it will all be OK.