Imperfectly Naive.

I know I am not perfect. I mean, my blog title is Imperfectous. It doesn’t get any obvious than that.

I have dealt with humanity’s cruelty; my bullying in high school and I know just how sad and painful that gets. When you don’t know why people choose to hate you with a passion.

Well, I grew up and realised that it was a stage. And the people who did or said whatever were just projecting their own fears or insecurities. That it really had nothing to do with me. But when I was going through it; thinking about ending my life; I just saw me as a victim and not understanding why.

Then I heard these sermons from T.D. Jakes and Joyce Meyer about how what you go through today is not for you but to help someone else tomorrow. That God does not waste even our pain, and I started believing that that something beautiful could come from my ashes, and I started mentoring teens.

I also became very optimistic. Always looking for the rainbow when it rains. The silver lining in every cloud. I was very aware of how real evil is and negativity and I chose to be more positive.

I have been called naive for my always wanting to see the sunny side of life. Most people want me to be a realist. To just accept things, good or bad. And I’m like ‘why?’

Why do I have to be naive because I believe people can be good and genuine and honest and sincere? Why do I have to be naive because I want to believe that we can have healthy competition, because we know there’s enough to go round? Why do I have to settle for the worst in humanity because that’s what’s common? Well, I refuse.

I am OK being naive and optimistic and idealistic. I am OK being the only person in the room who believes in a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Of curse I know it’s not true, but it puts a smile on my face and hurts no one, so why not?

I will not stop believing in the good of humanity; in the ability that we can be good to each other and cordial, because that would be giving up on myself. It would be giving up on the ability of people to change. And I think that would be a much darker world to live in.

There’s already too much darkness and sadness and pain in the world. I choose not to be a part of that and keep hoping and believing and spreading good cheer. Because I have seen what the dark can do, and it’s no world for anyone to live in.

I am imperfectly optimistic. And it may warrant me being called naive, and that’s fine by me.



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