Relationships are a part of our day to day life and we will never tire of talking about them. This is just the truth of the matter and I have come to accept it as thus.
I have dated a lot in my years on this earth and I have gleaned some wisdom from my experiences. The most important one, for me, by far must be “Know your worth, while in a relationship”. What do I mean?
No one is ever doing another person a favour when they are dating. You are two individuals independent of each other, choosing to come together and partner in your journey of life. You are equal in this regard. But more often than not, one person is always giving more of themselves in a relationship, because they feel like the other person is doing them a favour by being with them. If this is you, I think you first need to step back and deal with your own insecurities; because that’s really what’s going on.
When you know your worth in a relationship, you will not allow someone to treat you less than what you deserve. I mean, you are a child of the Most High God, and Jesus did die and rise again from the dead, for you, so yeah, you are worth a lot and the people you choose to share your life with should recognize this or they are not worth your time.
I have been this person before. The one who had low self-esteem and therefore stayed in toxic relationships simply because I wanted to feel wanted. Both romantic relationships and friendships. There are friends who if you don’t reach out to, they will never call or text to check up on you. That clearly shows you where you fall on their list of priority.
When I learned to love and value myself, I realized that I do not need the whole world to be my friend, neither do I need a relationship to feel whole. I am complete all by myself in God and three true friends are worth so much more than 100 acquaintances. When I made peace with this, I became even happier. Once I realized I do not have to be everyone’s friend and that I just needed to treat others as they treated me, simplified my life. What do I mean? I no longer make people priority to me who consider me an option. I care and love deeply, however, if I realize the feeling of importance is not mutual, I take steps back and place you where you have placed me in your life.
It is very liberating really, but it has to be a very conscious decision as it will mean losing some friendships and maybe letting go of that relationship, but you deserve to be with people who appreciate you and see the value you add to them. And the truth is that this cannot be everyone, because humans are different and diverse. And this is OK. Because even you have your list of priority people, so it goes both ways.
Know your worth. Do not apologise for demanding what you believe you deserve, as long as you are not being crazy about it. I mean, we appreciate Ms Mariah Carey is all that, but demanding to bath with mineral water (allegedly), is taking it a tad too far. 🙂 You get my point though.
A point of order, you teach people how to treat you, so charity must begin at home. You must treat yourself the way you would want others to treat you and that means not taking in BS from anyone!
Imperfectous.
Miss Adoyo 