Don’t make someone a priority, while you are only an option to them
We have heard this statement a tad too many times and we have probably used it a number of times as well. We have probably felt it as well at some point in our lives. Felt like someone was not giving us the attention we feel we deserve or are worth?
I know I have been there.
And how I dealt with it was complain to the other person of their treatment of me. They would apologise, maybe give me the attention I craved for two days before things falling back to the same pattern; with me feeling like I was forcing someone to be in my life.
This was, of course, until I saw the light and nothing was ever the same again.
When I love, I go all in. If I’m on your team, well then, just let me know when and where we are getting rid of the body, no questions asked! I am an all in or nothing at all person and therefore, I used to get rather upset by people who I am all in for and who seem to just have me as one of the pieces in their lives. Not cool at all.
I took a step back and looked inward. I searched deep as to what it is I look for when I am hanging on to someone who considers me an option?
There was a need for validation lurking somewhere in the shadows. I also did not think I was worth so much so I seemed to get my worth from the people in my life. God corrected that.
I mean, He sent His only Son, to die in my place. If that is not proof of just how important I am, then I need to go get my head checked.
I decided to start loving me. I took time out to reacquaint myself with myself and I was pleasantly surprised at the woman I had become. I discovered just how valuable I am and how important. I made the decision that as long as I was alive, it was because I still had value to add and that in itself makes me worth a lot.
The moment I decided to unapologetically me, is the moment I took back the power I had so easily given away. I no longer stick around where I feel I am not needed, I just keep it moving and take my business elsewhere, with no hard feelings whatsoever.
We always make time for things and people that are important to us. Simple. If someone never has time to hang out with you but they always seem to have extra to do the same with others, you just ain’t that important to them boo.
I know, it may sting to hear. At first, it made me feel bad but then I realized their priorities had nothing to do with me or who I am. And this is where we get it wrong. We think because someone does not think we are important enough to them, that we are generally not important.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
I have learned that in life, we have seasons and with those seasons, there are different people who come around and are useful for that time. Listen, if I am in the planting season, it does not matter how dope your harvester is, I do not have a use for it in this season, so I am not making any time to even learn how it works. Do you get where I’m going with this?
There was a time he made time to see you. There was a time she needed to talk to you daily. And it felt good. But then the season passed, and with it, your usefulness, and you were replaced by other things or people. And you got the back seat. And it pinches a bit, but it doesn’t have to.
If you are woke, you will say it was good while it lasted, pack up and take your business elsewhere where your awesomeness is needed.
Easier said than done? Not if you know your worth and what you bring to the table. And this is not in the “Your loss for letting me go” kind of way. Nah ah. Royalty does not have time for such games. It is in an honest manner. Because you are confident in you.
Listen, you cannot force your importance onto someone else. You cannot make someone make you a priority if they do not consider you one. You will be spending your precious time complaining instead of living your best life elsewhere.
DON’T DO IT!
In business, you will see an opportunity, consider it worth a risk, take a plunge and invest in it. The moment, though, you realize there is no ROI, you cut your losses and move on or invest in the next thing that catches your fancy.
The same principle with relationships, this includes friendships.
Relationships can only work if both parties are pulling their weight. Don’t over-invest. If you are equal shareholders, then the effort needs to be the same. When it’s not, it’s time to reevaluate your investment and make a choice. If you choose to stay though, you lose all power to complain about the situation.
Do yourself a solid, and choose you. Always choose you cos you are worth it!
Imperfectous
Miss Adoyo 