I knew this year was going to be a tricky one early on. When I say this year, I don’t mean 2016 but 29. It is my last year as a 20 year old and at 30, I feel like the stakes go higher. Maybe I’ve just set the stakes high for myself. There’s things I want done and achieved by 35 for example and while when I made that commitment, it looked a long way off, now I see it’s only 5 years shy. 

No, I’m not panicking, I’m just reviewing the journey this far and one of the battles I keep having is whether to stick it out in employment or risk it by starting my own business. Now, I read a lot and I understand that I cannot go off to start a business simply because I don’t like my boss. Wait, I actually can but that’s not the right attitude for me to start a business, it could be a good motivation though… ;). Anyways, there needs to be sobriety of thought and a solid plan. 

I am not a spontaneous by nature. I am a planner. It has its good and bad sides and one major downfall is how an opportunity can pass me by because I was busy hurting my head in papers planning. Planning is not bad, it is actually a good thing but it can also easily become a full-time job.

I have had varied working experiences and that has led me to have certain opinions and values and I can be quite a bull, (headstrong) hehe when someone tries to mess up with my value system. I can become very rigid, as opposed to adaptable, in situations where my core beliefs are challenged and I do not believe any job or amount of money for that matter is worth sacrificing myself. When you go against what you believe, then it is equal to sacrificing yourself. If you are to sacrifice yourself, let it be for a worthwhile cause. 😎

I am in this space where I feel I am at a cross road and certain life-changing decisions need to be made and it scares the Jupiter out of me!😬 What if I stay when I’m supposed to be leaving and what if I leave when I’m supposed to be leaving? Yes, there are bills to be paid and if I remember Maslow’s theory, I understand it’s difficult to do much if the basic needs need has not yet been met. And so it is important for that bit to be sorted. Told you, plans. I keep thinking what could be the worst thing to happen if I jumped ship, say today? Needing to move out perhaps? Or downscale a number of things until I catch the tide again? 

I cannot keep letting the fear of the unknown cripple me. I need to come up with a plan and action it immediately to make my dreams come true. I mean, I am not going to drive that convertible Porsche with such indecision. :?. So I need to start with the end in mind. 1:3:5 or maybe 5:3:1. The five-year plan to determine the 3-year plan which in turn determines the 1-year plan. I already have an idea of how the 3 part plan should look like and this 1 year plan needs a lot of ‘gym’ and what I need to decide right now is if the space I’m currently in has the real potential to help me achieve the 1 year plan. If not, what do I need to do make it happen? Do I decide to take a job I may not necessarily like but that would pay me X amount, to be able to put my plan in motion? Is there an opportunity at the current place to get that done, within a year? Do I take up a side hustle?

You see, when you have SMART goals then you become focused on the important things and you leave emotions and feelings out of the equation and you become very practical. For example the goal could be ‘to make Y amount of money monthly to achieve my 1 year goal.’ When that is the motivation, and you set your boundaries of how far you’re willing to go to make it happen, (as earlier mentioned, some things are not worth sacrificing yourself for) then the choice somehow becomes easier to make. It will shape the kinds of deals you say yes or no to. It will determine if you stay somewhere or walk. Working with a goal in mind changes the playing field. 

Writing with filters off, always helps me figure things out. Now I need to draw my route plan. This is my 3rd month of year 29. I have 9 more months to achieve my 1 year goal, which will feed into the 3 year one which will ultimately feed the 5 year plan. This is mainly about my professional or career journey. Now I almost understand why Paul in the Bible advocated for singlehood. The considerations are much much less and your boundaries are a bit larger because the choices you make need only to make sense to you.:D. The only person I need to worry about or have a conversation with us myself. And me, myself and I all want the same thing, the ‘what’s best for me’ thing. 

Kirk Franklin’s September is playing at the back of my mind. I hope next year September, God willing, I’ll be singing to myself ‘ Tell me you remember, when your heart felt like September…’ Lol. 



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