My one and only sister is 12 years older than I am and so, no matter what amount of catching up I try to do, I’ll never really reach her. She is one of my role models as she’s an amazing human being. I remember a time in my life when I was trying to compare myself to her. It was a moment when I was feeling like a loser and when we spoke, I tried to prove myself by telling her ‘ But look at you and what you’ve been able to achieve’ and she told me that I cannot possibly compare myself to her. Literally, a whole decade of difference. And she said that we all have our paths to travel oh plus she’s older… It is okay for me to look up to her but it is not okay for me to judge myself using her as a yard stick! It’s basically not fair for anyone to use anyone else as a yard stick. We all have our lanes.
You can use someone else as an inspiration; to encourage you that it is possible. And God is kind enough to have examples of people from all walks of life. There are those who achieved their dreams in their teens and there are those who did the same in their sixties. Moral of the story? It’s never too late, unless you decide it is. You can always start; begin. Every day is a new chance; a new opportunity for you to do things differently. So what, you’ve wasted 10 years? What will you do about the situation the next morning? We often allow ourselves to get stuck because we convince ourselves that the window of opportunity has passed us. The man by the pool who had been there for donkey years represents most of us. He had accepted fate and was okay with it that even when help arrived; when opportunity came to him, he couldn’t recognize it because he had given up. Giving up is what makes us failures I think, not the act of failing at something. I know, there are situations where walking away is the best option but our dreams are not part of those situations. They need to see the day of light.
In my 2 decades, almost 3 now, of being alive, I have compared myself a lot. I have also found that it was just an excuse to convince myself that I have failed and thus need to accept the status quo. Lies. Every new day is an opportunity to change the direction of your life. Every new day. So, will you let today be a repeat of yesterday, simply because it’s an easier route or will you actually do something about the fact that you’re unhappy?
We all have our lanes and our races to run. It is okay if yours is 100 metres, mine is probably a marathon. If I decide to compare myself to you then I lose the plot. I get it. It’s scary. I am the queen of planning and structure and spontainety is like an enemy but even I know that at times I need a to allow a little bit of adventure. It is not easy for me not knowing things; I am a control freak but I have tried it at times and it worked out pretty well, so now I know when I’m simply being stubborn and when something really can’t be changed. And the thing about knowing is that you cannot un-know, unless maybe you suffer from amnesia. But even then, you’ll only have forgotten. Knowing is a permanent thing.
So, stick to your lane and enjoy your race. The only person you can ever fairly compete with is the person you were yesterday, and deciding today you will be better.
Lovely race ahead today!
Imperfectous
Miss Adoyo 