My friend and I met up for a drink yesterday. It was at a restaurant right outside the office and we had a glass of wine each and a plate of fries. Then we got talking.
We touched on dating, marriage, children, and God, the silent listener to every conversation. And we were comparing how times have changed. How children nowadays are spoilt; the effect of starting a family late – mainly having children late; dating a single parent. It was a very healthy and wholesome conversation.
About spoilt children, we somehow agreed that parents are to blame. What you teach your child is what they will grow up to be. What you allow has an effect on them; positive or negative. There was a feeling that at times parents over compensate for their not being around by giving their children whatever, without stopping to think of the effects. And it is mostly the parents who suffer from peer pressure and start competing, at times causing the child to suffer. We agreed, times are different and working hard is almost a prerequisite for survival. But, being too busy for your children?
But we want the best of everything, right? The big car; the huge mansion; the expensive dresses; the top notch education for our babies, but at what expense? What are your desires costing you?
My friend told me of a story about a friend of hers. She had one daughter but had the busiest job, globe trotting all the time. She was blessed to have a nanny who had stayed with them since the child was very young. The daughter now is in her teens. The nanny even attended school functions in behalf of the mum, cos she was always somewhere. When mum came home, the daughter had no emotion really. ‘Hi mum. How was your trip? Welcome home’ and she goes back to her room or wherever.
One day, her nanny had to go away for a few days and when she got back, the child literally jumped on her; helping her with her bags. She was beaming with joy and the mum was there and I think a piece of her broke. Her hired help had clearly taken her place. She knew her daughter more than the mum herself and the daughter was attached to her. And the mum realised it was time for a change. But where to start?
When you are planning for your future life and family happens to be part of that plan, think things through and see what needs to be moved around for you to be present when the family checks in. Remember, for the child, having mummy and daddy around is more important than the latest PS game. But if you substitute yourself with the game, then the child will also make it the most important thing.
We touched on many of the other conversations. But do you know the bottom line that we found? That all of life’s questions have answers in the Book of Life, aka the Bible. God has provided us with a way to deal with everything that life brings our way. But we as humans find it too simple to work, maybe? We feel the need to complicate things and when we do that, it becomes like a maze. We can’t remember where we started from!
Moulding Beauty.
Miss Adoyo 