When we say yes to things it’s usually with the hope that they will last forever or they will be good to us somehow. We allow things and people into our spaces because we believe they are the best for us. And more often than not, we have nothing but great stories to tell about them. But in some rare occasions, what we say yes to ends up being bad for us or toxic.
It could be a job, or a habit or a person. It could literally be anything. And when something we allowed in our lives ends up hurting us or having some negative effect on us, parts of us wish we knew earlier. At times we may blame ourselves for not seeing it coming but how could we? We are not God who is all knowing. But in that moment of pain and hurt, we wish for things because we want, no need to feel better.
It never is all bad though. Every coin had two sides. And I think that’s why when something or someone you say yes to ends up hurting you, it’s never a black and white situation. Because if it was, we would move on to other things in the speed of lightening. But we stay a while and mourn the end of something that at the beginning had so much hope and happiness and presented something beautiful in our eyes, because it’s never all bad, just like it’s never all good.
And when now you have to change your answer to no, it takes up almost all your strength to do so. Because saying no now means saying no to all the hopes and dreams associated with that person or thing, and we all know just how much time a spend in dreamland when thinking about our lives and usually, we never picture the bad and hurtful. It could be about staying positive… I now know that if I had all the answers to life’s questions; if I know how every decision I made would turn up, then if never really live. It’s too much pressure…
And I know how we battle with the no once we say it. It feels like you’re suffering from withdrawal symptoms, because it never is all bad. And being the humans that we are, we would rather choose hope any day over everything else. But it gets easier. The shivers get fewer and if you remain true to the choice we made, then we will get to smile again and enjoy the warmth of the sun again…
Today I’m actually grateful, that when I say yes to things and people, it’s usually with a hope for a beautiful journey, that would hopefully never end. Because the journey always is beautiful, even when it rains and you’re met with bad terrain, it’s all always beautiful. Because the good times remain as happy memories that you can always turn to and smile. And the bad times, well, they teach you something you didn’t know; they do make you better. I know, we all wish there was an easier way for us to learn things but where would the fun be in that?
If you have to change a yes to a no today, be of good cheer and know there are millions of people in the same dilemma. (misery loves company) lol. But that also it does get better. And yes you will have moments where you question your choice because it hurts so much, but I believe in a God of many chances. I believe in a God who opens doors when others get closed. I believe in a God who loves us infinitely, and though we suffer for our consequences, He would never keep anything good from His children, if we go back and ask Him. Yes, we may have a scar to remind us of the wound but, nothing too permanent that can cause us not to have an abundant life.
So, be like a butterfly and spread your wings and live and let live.
Moulding Beauty.
Miss Adoyo 