She sits by the window,
Watching the rains fall
Feeling their rythm as they drop
‘it is beautiful’ she thinks to herself
Quietly her hearts speaks,
‘Why can’t I find love?
Am I not good enough for someone to want me?
Is there something wrong with me that I need to change?
Why does love always elude me?’

She can feel the sting in her eyes
She wills herself not to cry
And wills her heart not question.
As she remembers the pains she has endured,
In the name of love.
Maybe that’s just not in the books for her
Maybe when God was writing out her story,
He got a bit distracted,
Just when he was about to write her love story,
And when He came back to continue,
He went on to the next chapter,
Not detailing her love story.

She shook her head at that thought,
God is love so if there’s one chapter,
He could not forget to write,
It would be that one.
That broke a smile on her face.
Why then was it difficult?
Did she try too hard?
Was she all desperate?
Did she want someone to share her life with so bad,
That she settled for anyone who came along,
Without noticing those who were masquerading as princes,
Only for them to break her heart?

Still watching the rain,
And a few people scampering for a cover,
Yup, it was unexpected,
Just as life at times is,
She decided she had cried enough
Too much time had already been spent in doubting herself and questioning her heart.
Why did she have to be the one with the problem?
It could easily be the guys.
Not knowing what a gem she is.
Their loss…

She allowed herself to dream.
Of what her perfect love story would be like.
Of what she imagined God must have written,
Even though His thoughts are not like her thoughts,
She dared to dream
And what she saw; the world she created,
It made her smile from deep within.
And at the end of it she whispered,
‘Amen -let it be so’.
And went back to enjoying the rain
And the rhythm of it falling to the ground.
Life was beautiful again…

Imperfectous

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