Parents are the first contact children have with humanity, and it is this first contact that lays a foundation for how the child will relate to the rest of humanity. So, what is your contact teaching your child?
I have always said to my friends and myself, that a child is like a never ending project. Once they check in, it’s a relationship that never ends, until death do you part. And being responsible for another life is not as easy as ABC. It takes a lot of commitment and sacrifice. Once a child checks in, your life cannot continue to be ‘business as usual’. Things have to change.
I think life stops being business as usual,the moment you open up yourself to another soul. The moment you start dating, you slowly lose your ‘me, myself and I’ rights. When you get married, those rights shrink even further, as the two become one and therefore you need to be aware that your actions will always have an effect on more than one person,thus it would be important for you to always consult with your spouse. When the consequences of your actions appear, you will both suffer them. It is therefore only fair for you both to suffer consequences of decisions you made together.
If you think that is “bad”, wait for the child to check in. Now you have two people to be considerate of! Seeing as the man and wife become one, this is the time that oneness matters most! You both are responsible for this new life and therefore your decisions need to always have them in mind. A preacher once said that the devil chooses to inflict wounds on us while we are still children because he has been around long enough to understand most of the issues we deal with as adults,have strong roots in our childhood and upbringing! Hence the opening statement of this post. You may never have thought about it that way but if you stop to look at you now and how you grow up,the cause and effect theory will be so real. Your childhood experiences either make or break you.
Parenting is therefore not just providin thw basic needs and moving. It is deeper than that. You become a mentor instantly,by default. This child looks to you to know how to act,how to behave and deal. So what example are you setting for your child? What are you telling it,with your actions? Because your actions stick more than your words. So what are you putting in them? As a couple,what are you teaching them? How is your interaction affecting them? Your words have power and they do end up defining your child. So what words are you speaking over them? What lessons are they picking from you?
Being a parent is a 24/7 job,just as being a spouse is. You cannot have a switch for when to be and not to be. This is why I say before I say ‘I do’ I better be very sure what I am saying ‘I do’ to. Before I bring another life into this world, I better be knowing what I am getting myself into. For none of these two is business as usual. Too important for them to be treated casually. Yet we see it every other day. May the Lord indeed forgive us.