I find that the reasons behind doing what we do actually matter in the long run. I now understand what God means when he says he is more concerned with our intentions; He looks at the heart.

Your motives/intentions drive your actions and for today,I will look at marriages/relationships.

I have said it over and over,of course after some reading,that the main intention for Eve being created was to be a companion; a helper to Adam. God saw that it was not good for man to be alone and so he created for him a companion;a helper.That was the main reason. Everything else is a bonus, including children.

I know a lot of people will want to have my head because of such a statement but freedom of speech has me covered.Lol. I remember a story of one couple I had the honour to be under their leadership for a while; Pastor Tony & Terry Gobanga.

For the full story,you can buy ‘Crawling out of darkness’ but I shall talk about a specific area. Pastor Terry after an assault,was told she could not have children and so when Pastor Tonny came calling and courting,she let him know that by the way,she can’t have kids. And Pastor Tonny,being the God-fearing and romantic man he is told her ‘The more love for you’. I believe she felt weak in the knees at that moment. 🙂

For me,at that moment,that was love;unconditional love.Not because of, but in spite of.And no,I get how our society makes such a humongous deal about children in a marriage and you can almost be ex communicated if you cannot bear children;especially the women. The council of elders would sit and get your hubby another wife to bore him children and you as a woman had not much of a say.

It makes you feel less of a person if you cannot have kids. Marriages have been ended because one partner could not bear kids. Your humanity it seems,boils down to your ability to have or not to have children. You end up being defined by that inability and it becomes thereafter,your reason for doing whatever you do!

We all say,children are a gift and if we really believed that and were not being hypocrites,we would not judge those who don’t have children. And this month in church the sermon series was ‘When God seems mteja’ and one of the series title was ‘When God says No’. What do you do then? Do you hate him? Do you look for other options? Ask Paul and the thorn in his flesh. He prayed for God to remove it three times and the answer was No and God’s response instead was ‘My grace is sufficient’.I know how annoying such an answer can be.But God is God,whether he does our bidding or not.And that is the beauty of living in His will;his ways become your ways and you will be reading from the same script and that peace that surpasses all human understanding will be your portion!

So,why do you get married? Heck,why are you in that dating relationship?? Because your why? will have an effect on everything else you do in that relationship and you may hide the reason at first but when the rubber hits the road,it will be very clear what your priorities are/were.

We are not of this world but we are in it and we must find a way to manage our existence here.That being said,may we then not fall into the patterns of the world.May we always be found at His feet;seeking His will because He does have a grand plan for us as His children. He never promised it was going to be easy. We are called to carry our cross,that’s no easy feat. But He says he will give us rest and take up the burdens that weigh us down!

I find that after going round and round,the safest,most peaceful place to be is under the shadow of his wings.Because he does make all things work together for good to those who love him and he does make everything beautiful in its time.

In conclusion,children are a blessing.I do not know why some of us can have them and some cannot but that’s not what I would like to focus on. I would like to stand on the rock,who is Jesus Christ so that no matter how strong the winds of life blow,I will still stand! What foundation have you built your relationship/marriage on?

P/s: Pastors Tonny & Terry Gobanga now have 2 beautiful daughters and if you ask me I will say the answer was like how Jesus answered the crowd during Lazarus time. Lazarus had to die so that God may be glorified;so that they would be introduced to another character of God; He who raises the dead back to life. And so Pastor T & T’s situation was used to tell this generation that God is the giver of life.

We don’t always understand why God does what He does.I made peace with that and now my hope and peace rest in the fact that he loves me and that everything he does is from a place of love and he always has my best interest at heart and he does know what is best for me as he is All – knowing. This allows me to rest easy,even when I don’t understand.

I ain’t saying its easy. People will still talk behind your back but if your foundation is in Christ Jesus,guess what? Your light will still shine brighter and the joy of the Lord will still be your strength and as far as people’s opinions and speak go,well,they really do nothing for you so let GIGO apply…but you can only rise above all these if your foundation is solid!!!

To all who are married and childless,let the Lord be your strength and portion and see what difference that will make in your life.Us living an abundant life is not tied to anything other than the fact Christ died that we may have it.That’s all you need to know;the rest are details.

Just me.



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