With love… from 26

Life is a journey, travel it; not a destination for you to merely exist.

Today I bid 26 good bye. We are never to meet again but it has been an amazing journey and I am happy with 26. So this post is about the things I learned during 26.

1. Growing Old is a must but growing up is optional.

26 saw me meet a lot of different people; date some of them and I learned this the hard way; through experience. I learned that if you think just because someone is older than you then they must be more mature, you are in for a rude awakening! Maturity I believe comes with the experiences that life throws at us and our openness towards always learning and growing. Got quite a number of disappointments.

2. You are not what you do

Do not let what you do define you because then you limit yourself and God. You put a limit to how much you can grow or how far you can go. There are very many aspects of you. I mean, you are an employee/ employer, you are a daughter/son, you are a sister/brother, you are a friend. How do you decide which one of these many things define you? You are who you are; you are your values and beliefs and character. People may not remember your title but they will always  remember how you made them feel. Personally, my identity is found in God and that means there is no limit to what I can do, unless I place the barrier myself because God is limitless.

3. Your happiness is most important.

It does not matter where you work or who you are dating, if you are not happy, you need to get out of that space. I know, at times we will say ‘I just cannot jump ship or walk out because of a,b,c.’ You need to be honest with yourself and ask ‘When then will you be happy?’ considering that you only have one life to live. When I resigned from a place I had worked for 2 years and without a landing pad, other than a business that had not really been established, it is because I was not happy any more. There were other factors but I can tell you for free that if I was happy, I could have dealt with the rest. I gave up on certain relationships that I had held onto for way too long because I was not happy. I had not been for a while but I believed in ‘It can and it will get better’ It didn’t and I had to choose me. Being single and away from these people looked like it was going to be super hard and I did get lonely, but you know what, nothing in this world is permanent and I moved on and I did find my happiness.And I do not think I am compromising it for anyone ever again.

4. Never, ever compromise who you are!!!

Please don’t and if you are, please stop! Anyone worth your time will accept you as you are. Anyone who wants to change you or needs to change you before they can associate with you, let’s just say they are not at all worth your time! Notice I did not say ‘Do not be flexible or open on things’ I said never compromise who you are. Which is also intertwined with, never apologize for who you are. God created you that way for a reason and purpose and you need everything you have to accomplish that purpose. You do not go to a supermarket and ask digestive biscuits to change themselves to Marie biscuits because you do not like them. So, let anyone who expects you to change to move along and get someone else who fits their description!

5. Faith.

The Lord is real and belief in him actually pays up! I mean, 26 is one year where the Lord has shown me how true he is and how he is always there for me and that he knows what I need. He does not promise to give me what I want, but what I need, he’s got that in control and it has been a humbling experience of just leaning on him. I am a control freak and so the idea of just letting go and letting God is something I have always fought with but the Lord, he is faithful. I am sticking to him like super glue!

6. Friendships are important

Friends are the flowers in your garden a.k.a. your life. They make it more beautiful and they are important. Invest in them; appreciate them. Do not be a quasi friend but be fully committed because you will always be in need of a friend; for both the good and bad times. You must be a friend first, to get a friend. The kind of friend you are determines the kind of friendships you will have, so be a quality friend and you will have quality friendships. Kristin, you have been my rock for 26 and I appreciate you super much…thank you!

7. Decisions have consequences

I doubt I need to write anything much on this but you just need to have it at the back of your mind.

8.  Your dreams are your own and only you can make them come true

This of course with the help of God. No one else can live out your dreams. You have to do the hard work to realize them or see them realized.You have to put in the hours. It is not easy; at times people will laugh at you and no one else may believe in you but you but as long as there is something deep inside inspiring you to go on, please, keep the dream alive until you achieve it! Star now.Like Lupita said, no matter where you are from, your dreams ARE VALID! That should have been the statement of the year! So simple yet profound.So, whatever it is your dream is, it is up to you to make it happen. Do not just sit at the sidelines watching other people

9. Healthy Relationships do exist!

You do not have to be in a bad relationship; okay this is not for the married. You do not have to take crap (pardon my language) from anyone just because you are dating! There are people out here who will treat you like the awesome person that you are if you gave them the chance and they do not necessarily come packaged like you would envision and that is the beauty of it.They get you off guard! At times you do not see them coming, you only notice them once they have arrived and you realize that you truly can make your little heaven down here on earth! Do not settle!

10. Marriage is a daily commitment; same to love.

No, i did not get married but I got to interact with a number of people who are married and I realized that you need to be committed to your marriage if you are to enjoy it; both spouses. It is a life long partnership that can only work as it’s supposed to if both parties play their part. I have learned that it is important for women to learn how men are wired and vice versa because we all operate differently.I mean, we do take time to study our target markets in business, why not invest in some material to help us understand the most important target market of all? lol. And love is also a daily choice. You need to remind yourself to love your spouse even when you would rather walk out.

26 for me has been a year of immense growth and tears and goodbyes but also of new friendships, and awesome opportunities. It has been one roller coaster ride that I have totally enjoyed!

27, I am so ready for you and I have a few things in line that I need to accomplish, like go to driving school! I know!

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