When hurt is all you have known,it becomes extremely difficult to believe that there is life without hurting and anyone who tries to suggest otherwise is looked at strangely.
When disappointment is the mark of your life,then trust becomes an uphill task.You go about life treading carefully as if you are walking on egg shells,and are afraid of getting pierced.
And when the disappointment has come from people you have loved,then love becomes a mystery to you and anyone pupporting to love you is considered an enemy and the armour is drawn out for protection.
Somehow,our scars become our stumbling blocks;our barriers.They lock us out of anything that is not them and we cease living and merely exist.
A dear blogger friend, Mercy Orengo,blogged about her scars the other day and how she wears them as crowns,as they tell the stories of her life and hiding them;being ashamed of them,is like hiding her life;being ashamed of her life and so she chose to not let the scars define her,but for them to remind her of the faithfulness of God.I was watching AM Live and they heard Judge Joan of Sakata I think,and she also said how she is not ashamed of the scar she has after an operation as it is a part of her story and so even she flaunts it.(for these two,it was physical scars)
Some of us have perfect bodies but scarred hearts and thoughts.Some of us,our scars can only be seen in our tears or our words and we hold on to them to remind us of what not to do or engage in,yet Christ came that we may have life and life in abundance.He did not leave heaven,get born in a manger,get rejected in His hometown,get insulted and whipped and finally get nailed to the cross like a common crminal,for you and me to merely exist!!!And I feel that every time we are not living,we are telling Him He did not do enough!
Now,I’m not talking like this because I’m miss perfect.My blog name speaks of how imperfect I am.I speak like this as one who has scars and one who has used those scars as boundaries of how far to go with people;of how far to let people in.I have used my scars to judge others unfairly and in so doing,keeping myself from enjoying some of life’s most beautiful moments.A rose flower is as beautiful as flower can be and its stem has thorns;maybe that’s its defense mechanism…lol but that does not stop us from picking them,over and over.And so are you.You are like a rose flower and the thorns are your scars.Do not let them hold you back and keep you from blooming like you are meant to.And yes,it is true that there are people who will love and accept you you with your scars without questions;you only need to let them.These are people who,though seeing the thorns(scars) still think you are worth the prick they may get,getting close to you…
It is difficult to believe in anything after doing it so many times and failing but then with man this may be impossible but with God all things are possible…And I can tell you when God says He will give you beauty for ashes,I think you may want to look for as many ashes as possible because whatever falls into God’s hands,Hr gives it back as masterpiece!
Don’t quit trying to get better or to be better.Everytime you fall,rise up and pick yourself,dust yourself and move on.Do not dwell on the puddle of mud you fell in,it will not help you with anything;it will take you nowhere. And after some day last year,when I was trying to cross the road on Waiyaki Way and we all know how crazy that road is,but I could not because I have the craziest phobias for roads,and some guy,who I think had watched me for a while and seen my distress,came,held my hand and helped me cross and went on his way,he reminded me that there are still geniunely good people in this world.Due to our experiences,we probably have a skewed image of the world but there is good in the world and there is true love,where you love and are loved back and there are true friendships,where you can be safe to be who you are without judgements.There is still some good left to be found for all of us.So,may we not allow our scars to cause us to hide behind them,rather let them tell of our stories.Let them tell of how hard life tried to hit us or put us down and how we rose from the knock downs and forged on ahead.Wear your scars as medals and be proud of them because what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.It may not feel like like because you are not giving yourself credit but its a fact.Most of us remain stuck in the fall.’How could I?’ Well,you fell and you will fall again because perfectly imperfect is what we all are.So,move on from that and live life.
Let your scars be your story line
(Note to self)