In this ever-changing material age,with seemingly complex forces all about us, we sometimes cry out that we are driven by force of circumstances. Yet the fact remains that we do those things which we choose to do.
I read this quote today morning and it hit me like an unexpected slap! It made so many things clear. As I thought of the many times I have blamed the circumstances around me of not being able to do certain things or the reason why I did others but then I realize that in doing one or not doing the other, that time was spent doing something else and so in reality what it is is that I chose something else over another and circumstance is just an excuse not to look bad or simply a way not to take responsibility. I was about to write to my Pastor about my absence in church and mainly the praise and worship team and I was going to blame the circumstances I am currently in as the reason but after reading this statement, I held back on my statement and realized I just had to say it as; call a spade a spade and deal with the consequences.
I think why most of the time we blame circumstances is because of the bad habit we have formed as human beings of not taking responsibility and instead always having a scape-goat to try and not ruin our image or deal with the consequences of our actions.They say even not making a choice is a decision.So, we are always making decisions, whether we recognize them as decisions or not and we may have an excuse for the why or why not but other people will somehow see it as just that, an excuse.Some may understand but some will see it for what it is;an excuse.
And so today I make a conscious decision to always be conscious about the choices I am making and every time before I blame a circumstance/ situation for my action, to analyse and find out what decision I did make that is keeping me from doing the other.I may not turn out to be a favourite of many but at least I will be keeping my truth; that which I know is the real reason why A cannot happen is because B is happening. In taking up this cause, I am sure it will help me be real and honest with everyone and the god thing about the truth is that it sets you free.
And about being honest, I finally put to rest the fight of trying to get back to being friends with someone who betrayed my trust so badly.I have tried talking myself into liking them as much as I did and maybe even making them a part of my life but my conscious has refused.Do I hate them? Far from it.I did forgive but there cannot be friendship or relationship without trust and so there is no need for pretence.That ship is like the Titanic; it went and sunk in the Atlantic Ocean and it cannot be salvaged. I realize that we complicate life for ourselves; that the sooner we are honest with ourselves first and then with those around us, the easier and simpler life becomes.
With these very few words, I take a bow.
Love,
Imperfectous
Miss Adoyo 