I am part of a team helping to organize a certain beauty pageant and as much as I love events,they totally can take a toll on you!!!Today,i am finished.I was dosing in the bus on my way home;i could hardly keep my eyes open!Fatigue is real people;take care of your bodies.I get home with the excitement for a very looooonnng nap,only to lay on my bed and watch the last episode of haves and have nots and then crave silence,so i just lie.And my subconscious gets to work.But first,i check out my whatsapp and one of my bffs has sent a photo of her in state house,with the president steps from her,looking at her pin something to one of the guests i think and she had invited me to go along but i was not appropriately dressed and there was no time to go get appropriate.lol.Lesson learned though:every time i leave the house,i will dress in a casual friendly way that I can attend an impromptu meeting if need be as you don’t get a second chance to make a good first impression;i digress.sigh
So whatsapp then subconscious takes over and it takes me through the last few months of my life.It feels like an eternity;so much has happened and I,I have grown up and changed…:) and its a proud moment.I’m not where I need to be,but I choose to celebrate every right move made or taken.My resigning was marred by a lot of personal and professional issues and it was a roller coaster of sorts.Some peeps I had vowed to ignore like they never existed but now,see that as such a waste of emotion and effort.Their actions definitely caused me to look at them different but we are all in this together;trying to find our way and yes,we may resort to shady means of achieving our goals but its all in good faith,right?We are about self first;most times.I realize hate is too weak an emotion;its the easy way out.So,no,we won’t be bffs but i will be cordial;enough to buy some of those I once upon a time committed murder to in my head,a cup of coffee and enjoy a conversation;honestly.
It hit me,going through my friend’s photos that I do not regret resigning.I look at the opportunities she is getting while there and I am genuinely happy for her and wish her even more.And I looked at all my friends,in memory lane and what they have been able to achieve so far,and to find myself not threatened by it;not feeling like a failure coz I’m not yet driving or hopeless coz I don’t have a boyfriend,leave alone married;that I am not beating myself up coz of how well some of their businesses are doing and I’m only starting out in mine;that I am geniunely happy for my friends for their achievements and cheering them on is proof I’ve grown up.Oh plus hearing how well my baby brother is doing at his work place and not feeling jealous but happy;that to me is major growth coz I have compared myself fo far too long with people who even had no idea and today it hit me;I have come to accept that we all have different paths to walk;different stories to write;different battles to fight;different goals to achieve and different means to get us to our destination and in these differences,we are the same.:)
I shall keep to my race and my lane;I shall fight my good fight and without being pressured by what the rest are doing.It’s as ironic as David Rudisha trying to compete with the 100metres male record holder,whose name has just disappered.Smh.It does not make sense.I have my race to run and I can run it perfectly while still cheering my friends on coz we are not running the same race!
We all have a race to run and if we work hard at getting ready for our individual races,we will be confident enough when we get on the track and not be disturbed by what everyone else is doing and this confidence in ourselves will make it easy for us to sit on the benches and cheer on our friends while they too run their race!
I’m officially growing up…tsk tsk.
Yours,
Imperfectous…
Miss Adoyo 