Breaking Perfection…II

So yesterday I almost had a melt down. I felt like my world was crushing in on me.There are so many things happening at the same time,I almost cannot keep up!First, I kinda took a break from my church because some people there caused me a lot of pain and I wanted to be a good Christian and so I did not allow the wounds to heal and so they opened up again and so this time I have to let them heal and not pretend,which is something I kind of have a PhD in.So, I go back to a former church I was to go to and I see one of the people who spread some rumor about me and I was like ‘the world truly is a small place, so live your life and do not allow anyone to make you uncomfortable where you are comfortable.’ I guess God wanted me to learn a lesson that in life you just have to do you no matter what everyone else is doing or saying.In short, ‘Do you!’

There is a quote I once read that says we date at the level of our self-esteem.That means, your relationship is a reflection of just how much you value yourself and I was like, ‘ooooppppsss! I clearly don’t think much of me then!Hmmm…another very hard pill to swallow. I have always treated the man as more important than myself.A preaching from one of my favorite preachers, J.B. Masinde reminded me that relationships are a place of equality and this is demonstrated from the fact that woman was created from man’s rib;his side,so that her place would be by his side.Not above him or below him.So when you find yourself in a situation where your partner is more above or below you,there is something wrong with that equation.Now I know.I realize that you teach people to treat you and when you do not treat yourself with respect,well,let’s just say,the world will follow suit.It takes a whole lot of bigness,for someone to treat you better than you treat yourself;most of us don’t really have the patience.So,love yourself enough to say no to treatment that you cannot tolerate from yourself.And this is me speaking to myself as well.

I have always looked at some guys and wonder why they are interested in me and yet I am not all that? I always think they are better but now I know better and I know I am worth every second glance;and every whistle and every approach and every man who shows interest in me.I am worth all that because I am fearfully and wonderfully created in the image of God.So it is time to act the part.I will set my rules and my values and not lower them for anyone because if I can achieve them so can anyone else.So,you either match up or you walk…Simple.

You need to love yourself enough to know that you are worth being loved fully.I need to know that and live it out.I know I am not perfect and I gotta love every part of me,both the strong and the weak and accept them as and whoever wants to share my life will have to accept me as or walk.

xxx

Imperfectous.