I choose love…always

One of my best friends once mentioned to me just how much I loved planning! I guess I had been doing it subconsciously but once he mentioned it, I became very aware of myself and true to his word, I am an obsessive planner! If possible, I think I would even plan how I breathe!LOL. I plan everything and whilst planning is good, too much of something is ultimately always dangerous! I tend to miss out on some moments because I am busy planning…And so for 26, I need to throw out planning and perfectionism and just be ready to go with it! To take risks, really, is what I am talking about. You cannot plan a risk, otherwise it would not be a risk.I think it is one of those things you go ahead and do with little information on your end. Here I am planning to start taking risks!What is wrong with me? Lol. So if you are like me,decide one day to simply risk it and cross the bridges when you get to them, instead of anticipating them!

Ion: I first allowed myself to fully fall in love in 2008 I think.I fell so hard for this guy who seemed to love me back only his heart belonged to another and he was just waiting for the other to see the light before I was dropped like a hot potato!I had never been hurt like that before and it stung real bad!Though I tried to and I think even prayed for it,I could not hate him!I simply could not.I was mad at him for a while and I think I did not speak to him for a while but I got over it and we are still like the best of buddies ever!He still has a very special place in my heart.He is my boy,so to speak.

Two years later and I meet another man who simply sweeps me of my feet but even him, after two years of on and off, I realize he was never going to be mine.I got tired of the back and forth and I told him to let me know if he thought we had a future or not.I needed to know.I knew what I felt about him but now I needed to know if we were on the same page.He said he did not think we could go out.A blow to my dream house that came tumbling down but I was like, ‘okay.’ I think I had prepared my heart for it to swing anyhow and so it wasn’t such a major blow.I think I was just happy to finally have the matter sorted and the long chapter closed.We are still buddies.

I have learned that when you truly love someone, no matter how much they hurt you, that love can never turn to hate! You may be mad at them, which is a normal reaction but you will not hate them.And somehow,they will always have a soft spot in your heart.Don’t fight it.It is much easier if you simply let it be and allow your heart to be as well.

Though love has caused me a few bruises,it is an amazing feeling that I cannot let go off. You know the way people say ‘I shall not love again’ and they go ahead to harden their hearts to love?Well, I do not.I decided to leave my heart open for love.I decided that I will love,even after loving and losing,I will yet love because love is such a beautiful and amazing feeling and everyone who allow it to grow in them,is not the same person after.You are the better for loving.That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!

Have a LOVE-ly day



One thought on “I choose love…always

  1. Pingback: Alive Again..! | A Shade Of Pen

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