someone better…always…

I was having a conversation with my sister yesterday about how vain we can let our lives become and be chasing after the wind. Woah, Solomon really was a wise one. The case study was a friend of hers who is very beautiful and she knows it and she revels in it but somehow she always shrinks and loses her confidence whenever she meets or is in the same room with someone who challenges her beauty. And we went on and on giving examples of people who are always in competition with their siblings or friends or colleagues and some even strangers. That is not healthy competition because truth of the matter is, there will always be someone who is better than you. I mean, how long was Bill Gates the richest man before someone else took over? Well, it could have been for a number of years but you know what, someone else came and took over and that is just the cycle of life and that none of us can control.

This kind of competition screams of insecurities and low self-esteem and self worth. It means you are not really comfortable in your skin or where you are at in your life.It means you have not mastered the art of contentment.You know like Paul says in the Bible that he has learned to be content with whatever it is he has. What you have or do not have should not define you, because having and not having are somewhat out of our control. I mean, you may be living comfortable until a hurricane happens and everything you owned,is swept away,then what?Does that make you any less of a person?I doubt it,because the person you are is so much more bigger than the material things.

Sadly,this is not a condition for a select few.Some of us may not be able to admit it but there are quite a number of people who have this unhealthy competition going on and they die that silent death inwardly.I know I have been a victim from time to time.I have compared myself to other people around me and have been affected by what at the time i defined as success.They seemed to be at a better place than I was and so I somewhat belittled myself.A clear example is how after high school,it seemed all my friends were advancing their education while I was at home(not really doing nothing because I was my sister’s assistant at her events company). I was too affected by that which I did not have, in this case,finances to go to college,that I lost focus of what I did have,a job! At that time, joining college to me was a big deal. It meant someone was progressing in their lives and so I felt like I was stagnant but now looking back, the experiences I got from working first, no amount of school work can compensate for. And when I analyze it, that was not really my truth, it is just how society had set things in place. You finish high school and then you go to college, then you get a job. That was the seemingly ‘acceptable’ pattern but now I know better.Majority is not always right;it may always win but it’s not always right.

What now?Well,know yourself.Know who you are,away from all the definitions that you have heard since you could understand what people are saying.Write down all these definitions and then find out if they truly are your truths.Do you honestly believe them or do you just abide by them because they are all you know?If no one had told you say smoking was wrong,would you be smoking now or not?As in,find out what your personal belief system and abide by it.You will find that most of the things you try so hard to compete for or in,don’t really matter,if it was up to you.Define success for yourself and allow not anyone else to tell you otherwise.You are the one responsible for your happiness;do not allow anyone else to take that away from you.

You are amazing just as you are and you need to be confident in knowing that there is only one you and there will never be another like you.So what if you are not the prettiest?None has the same beauty as you.That and reality being that there will always be someone better than you,so don’t sweat it…

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