End of the road;control

I just lost a former school mate and someone i grew up with.She died,on her birthday.She was going out to celebrate yet another year but she didn’t make it to her destination.
It is quite normal,right?We don’t leave the house thinking about what could go wrong,at least not that we could die.Yet death is all around us.I am not saying lets get paranoid about death,merely suggesting that we should not get too comfortable coz truth is,life is temporal.
I always write about death and the importance of living life to the fullest,every time someone i know bites the dust… I am emotional;very and so i get affected quite easily…anyhow,how am i living my life?thats the question.what am i doing with the information that this could be the last piece i ever write?
Currently,not much.I’m simply cruising.Making decisions selfishly,as long as it makes sense to me,i don’t care about the rest.Is that what true living is about?
When i think of my death,i want to have left my fragrance behind.I want it to find me on the right side of life.Morally upright and all.I’m not looking at perfection,just living a good life,full of love…
What would i do differently if today was my last day?Would i waste a chance to love in hatred n grudges?would i pass on a chance to be nice just so as to be right?What would really matter?
ION:i miss my army boyfriend so much im almost losing my mind.In this situation my control freakness is being challenged.I love being in control,of everything and in this,i don’t have the control.It sucks!But all i can do is sit back and pray he is ok and wait to hear from him,without losing it!Nice way of learning,right?wrong.But i cant do much.Complaining and calling and texting wont make a difference.It is out of my control and i think i will be the better after it all.
Live life to the fullest.Love,laugh,be nice.

Xoxo
MB.

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