thorns in the flesh…

It is a beautiful Monday morning.I am happy to be alive,blessed and highly favored.That settled,matters pf the day.This month,the theme at my church is Royal worship.There is a quote that says that if God was to have a weakness,it would be that of worship.He created us to worship Him.He loves and delights in worship.Another verse in the Bible speaks of the Lord seeking true worshipers,those who will worship Him in truth and in spirit.I am called to be a worshiper as a christian and beyond that,I am in the praise and worship team in my church.The stakes are high,lol.

Worship is meant to be a lifestyle;my way of life.You cannot encounter the Lord and your life remains the same.The woman with an alabaster jar,is an example of what true worship is.Not caring that she was considered an outcast because of her status-she was a prostitute.She knew where her miracle was and that’s all that mattered to her and so she went at Jesus feet and worshiped Him the best way she knew how.She did not care and her tears are a sign of her brokenness and the Bible somewhere talks about how God loves a contrite and broken spirit…

True worship for me is going at His feet,in His presence,laying down all my crowns and titles and things that matter to me;forgetting myself and focusing on Him and His deity.Loving on Him.It is my decreasing so He will increase until there is none of me and all of Him.This calls for my knowing that I am a sinner;that I have sinned and fallen short of His glory but that He loves me anyway.That He loves me though i deserve it not,is more than enough reason to worship.

For me to be able to worship,my character ought to be above par.The way I live my life should be worship in itself.Every single day,whether someone is watching or not.I should be living a life that worships God and one of the things that I have been struggling with,you can call it that thorn in my flesh,is not pleasant to God.If anything He hates is.And I am growing to hate it too and i hate the fact that I have so indulged in it for so long but everything that has a beginning must have an end,right?And these are the final moments of this vice.I will defeat it,in Jesus name for through Christ,I can do all things.

GOSSIP is my deadly disease!It is the disease that I have been suffering from for a while and enough is enough.I have bad mouthed people;especially those who I felt owed me their loyalty and they went ahead and stabbed me in the back.It feels good,for a few,to talk them down.Talk negatively about them,about what they are doing about their lives.I thought by doing this,the hurt will pain less or I will be able to move on from it faster but it did nothing.My conscience instead,passed judgement on me.Questioning me on how what I was doing was good;how it was of any help or how it helped preach the love of God.And every time I speak badly about someone,it felt good at the time but later on,i am left feeling all crappy.And this being the month of Worship in my church,the challenge has been heightened and so now it is cleaning up my closet.

Isn’t there a quote that says small minds discuss people?I do not think God created me to have a small mind and so I want to get out of that place.I am better than that.So I will do it very consciously and every time I find myself about to talk ill of another,I don’t know what exactly I should do,but I want my spirit to be so in tune with the Holy Spirit that I can have self control,to know when to speak and when to keep my opinions to myself.

What I am learning is that no one owes me anything.I know we expect loyalty from our friends and loved ones and for them to have our backs and all but I have woken up to the realization,that I have that in someone,it is a gift,not a right and if they decide to take it away from me,well,it wasn’t mine to start with,so,painful as it may be,I will move on and not hold them hostage in my heart as I linger on the pain.I know I sound,I do not even know how I sound but I am choosing to live life on my terms not to follow the crowd or status quo.It is somewhat a difficult thing to pursue but I will try.I want to be a better person.I want to like the person I see when I look in the mirror.And not so that people can applaud me or anything but just so that I can be proud of me.This is about me,not anyone else.

So there it is.I just said it on social media that I have an issue with talk,talk,talking but I do believe that that’s the first step,admitting I have a problem then seeking a solution for it.I thank God that He gives us many chances and I am grateful that He does not give up on us so easily and I am taking this head on and I will keep you posted on my progress,maybe it will help another to get out of this mess.

Have a lovely Monday and for you who will read this,thank you for giving my work your time.I appreciate every single one of you.

xoxo

Moulding Beauty.

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