Apologies

Dear Journal,

Life is funny as much as it is interesting. It gives you lessons the hard way and it’s up to you to either learn from them or remain at one spot, going round and round. The last few months of my life have been quite the rough terrain.Of making wrong choices and dealing with the consequences that i ultimately had to face. today, i had to tell one of my closest friends something i did that may cost me her friendship. the guilt of having breached her trust for my own selfish gains was eating me up and i decided it was safer for her to hear it from me than from another source.I know i have hurt her and this will definitely cause a dent in our friendship, ie if she will still be up to it and i will have deal with the consequences if i lose her.it will definitely suck and i would not blame her.

See,diary,i was involved in a certain triangle of a mess and it just hit me how tiring it is and I am done.I am finished.I cannot keep going round and round over who did and who said.I am done.I opened up myself,let people in,got burned and that is just part of life.What can I say?But I am done.No more,she said,he said,they said,like Mary Mary sing.I told God I wanna clean up my closet.I want to become more like Him.I want to reflect His character and it is not the easiest of things as it calls for me to choose the difficult over the easy way.The right thing has never ever been easy.

I have been so self centered,Journal.Thinking how everything must be about me and today God made me bite the humble pie again;people have other important things to do with their time actually.In life there are different battles.Some you win,others you lose,yet more you draw.I know a thing or two about trust and how difficult it is to go back to it once betrayed. I kinda hope that our friendship will be able to weather this storm but if not,well,isn’t it all life at the end of the day.

If you ever come across this post,friend,just know i am super duper sorry for having betrayed you like this and that for my own selfish reasons.I do hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me and that we will somehow mange to salvage our friendship.But if for any reason you feel you can never trust me again or look at me in the same way,know that i will take it as a “man” and i will understand your every reason for so doing.Thank you for being a good friend though.

I am sorry.

xoxoxo

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