Of broken relationships and moving on

Dear Journal,
Spider man 3d was super amazing,i want me a date with spider man…lol. For the first date to be…Imperfectous,focus!!!
So yeah,im in the bus riding home and my mind is a beehive of words stumbling over each other. First on line,i need to get me a laptop. Moving on.
I have loved and gotten hurt,quite a number of times. I have come to learn that our experiences are just that. We are the ones who label them as either positive or negative. We give meaning to the stuff we go through and whatever meaning we attach to something leads us to handle or deal with it in a certain way. So now,thing is,learn from your experiences;pick that which is useful and discard that which makes no sense to you.
So,i met this guy and i liked him. I trusted him and opened myself up to him. After a while though,things took a different turn and he became all cold with me.i found myself trying to figure out what went wrong and wanting to fix it coz i had made him a priority a bit too fast. He apparently did not think i have much self confidence. He butchered me with his words. He said some really mean things. Did some things that left me wondering if the moments we shared were just a fraction of my imagination. I had been vulnerable with him;i trusted him and shared quite a lot and whwn things went south,i found myself wondering what his mission was? I spent a while being mad at hin;hating on him and all and especially after he turned his attention to someone else so near home. I was like,’do you mind?’ but i guess it didn’t really matter. It’s not like he cared about me. Yeah,i found myself wanting to ask if there was ever a real moment between us but then i was like’for what purpose?’
Truth is he hurt me. With his words more than anything else and i started questioning what i had seen in the first place. A man/woman who genuinely cares about you,will want to build you not bring you down. I learned the hard way and wow,didn’t he move on fast! Its like i never happened. This is my version of the story;i don’t what he would have to say and i doubt it matters. The only thing i would like to hear would be an apology which of course i doubt will ever come and i have somehow made peace with that fact.
Now,not everyone who we come across our path is meant to stay. Some of them are like the seasons;there for a reason and after the job is done,its time for them to move on. Times we miss our blessings,i think,because we are holding on to something we should have let go of. You need to change with change and know the seasons. I am not angry any more because i have learned this. It hit me;eureka kinda moment. Enjoy and live in the moment. If tomorrow comes and what you had yesterday is no more,smile coz it happened;be grateful and move on. Do not live the past in the present;you will be missing out on some super amazing opportunities.
Easier said than done,right?but not impossible. It may take all your will power but you gotta forge on. Realize that every relationship is a gift;a chance for you to grow as a person. You sit back and analyze an ended relationship and you will find numerous lessons along the way and if you look carefully,you will notice certain things about yourself. Learn from the findings and move on. I guess hating on someone who has hurt us is a typical response but do not let it take precedence in your life. Mourn;shed a few tears,pick yourself up and move on. There’s always more to life and after a while this too shall pass;scars will heal and you’ll love again n it won’t hurt you after a while. It is a process. You will be ok if you do not over stay at one process;be on the move. And you will be ok.
I promised myself to never not love because of a relationship that ended the way i had niy envisioned. Love is too powerful;too beautiful an act,for me to deny its happening,because of what someone else did. You don’t always get love in return,and love,its ok. It is not only important to know how to give but also to receive love. As i said,there’s a cycle and it times its not because we didn’t love enough but its because the person we loved knew not how to receive love and so they always throw it back at us. It does take two tango. Always. The failure or success of a relationship,always depends on all the players. Everyone has a role to play and if they don’t,what’s to keep the ship from sinking? After all,we are only human,right? Its never just your fault. You only need to know you share of the load and carry it;the rest really is not up to you.
So do not die over a failed relationship. Take responsibilty for the part you played,apologise if need be,forgive and let go;then move on. I promise you,if you do not tie your future to a past experience,you will get to enjoy new moments and create new memories. You will be able to move on without bitterness…which by the way is a deadly poison to the soul.
Now,it is half past midnight.gotta go to bed. Talk to you later dear journal…
Xoxo

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