Option vs Priority:which one are you?

It is healthy to have a meeting with oneself…to sit down and be honest with yourself.to search thine heart and listen to thine thoughts.away from everyone else. To figure it all out for yourself;without anyone else influencing you.
A truth i have discovered is that when im in a relationship,i find myself giving way too much than necessary and knowingly or unknowingly,human beings have a way of taking advantage of one’s kind and nice ness. There’s a reggea song that says don’t take my kindness for weakness…
I often find myself making someone a priority in my life while i am but an option in theirs.il always be the one to call or text or email to follow up on stuff.to find out how they are doing.like,i do all the work.while some will reply to my efforts,im just wondering,am i the only one who misses someone.and i tried it practically.people i usually chat with like on a daily basis,with me having initiated the conversation,i decided to take a back seat and not communicate. A trial to see if my conscience is just being dramatic or if it’s actually true? Guess what?it is true.none of them texted or called just to say hey or goodnight as is my norm. They are people i had placed on a certain level in my life and it was just a rude awakening.
My previous post was about taking two to tango.any relationship,if you ask me,is a partnership,where all parties ought to be equal shareholders. At no point should one person have more shares than the other,because then,the partner with the lesser shares can end up being a dormant partner,and doing very little,as is known,the one with the most shares has tje final say.he is the big boss.
I am a caring person and i go all out with the people in my life;friends and family alike. It is a good thing i think,to some extent but not when you are doing all these for you to somehow secure your friendship. Like you are being nice,so that someone will not walk out on you or so that they’ll stay. At this point,it is not healthu. I don’t think you should coerce someone to stay in your life. It’s like the way businesses have promotions to attract or keep clients. You shouldn’t have to do that. If your product is good enough,people will buy it,with or without any adverts or promotion… In Kenya we have a saying in our national language,swahili,that says ‘chema chajiuza,kibaya chajitembeza’. Simply means what I have said about a product n promotions. A good thing speaks for itself,while one that ain’t all that,has to make itself noticeable.
Am i saying that i am not good enough? That’s what I have been secretly thinking. It is not true,as God created me in His image,but I kinda walked awau from His idea of me and started weighing myself against what society thinks and i found that i missed the mark!
I have let situations define me. Something happens and instead of looking at it as just an occurence,i go ahead and name it and define it;i give it so much life that when im dine with it,it becomes my downfall. See, you teach people how to treat you. And no,you don’t take them to a class…they learn it from how you treat yourself. They value you just as much as you value yourself. You become as important to them as you are to yourself. You may not know it but your actions and thoughts and words;how you carry yourself tells a lot about how much value you have placed in yourself. Sadly,that’s the value the world will ‘buy’you at as well because they believe you know best!
So i have learned my lesson,albeit the hard way but i have. Someone had mentioned it to me before but i was in denial. Now that i held myself back from being the initiator,no one initiated and now i know better. And for me,it was being done from a place if insecurity,doing whatever it takes to keep things rosy while the question in my mind today is,’why bother so much when no one elsr does?’if you find you’re bothering and not because its a reflection of a defect on your side,well and good but if you’re doing it out of some fear,stop!!!
No one can give you worth. You are worth so much just by the virtue that you are alive. We don’t usually see it but its a truth we ought to grab!
God is working on me and part of it is Him telling me that which is true from that which i have made my truth. Today He tells me that i am complete in him. I don’t need anyone to complete me,hence i don’t need to beg anyone to be a friend or for them to stay in my life. When i get to a point im doing that,then that’s a red flag that im looking at me on a briken mirror. If someone does not,out of their own desire,want to be around you,or talk to you,then truth is they don’t really think you’re that important to then and you know what,it’s ok because there’s another somewhere who values you to bits just as you are.
What am i saying? That we should learn to be honest with ourselves to be able to know when we are letting ourselves be taken for a ride and immediately jump out of the next stop. Again,it takes two to tango,hence do not make someone a priority in your life when you are only an option. The truth,they say,always hurts,but when you flip the coin to the other side,you find that thw truth sets free… The choice is yours. Choose the kind of life you want to live…

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