today i was inspired to talk about marriages and no i am not married and so some of you may frown upon me but well,we all are entitled to our own opinions,right?Now that that’s cleared let me go to my writing.
i look at marriages today,hear of peoples stories and experiences and it just about gets me wondering why people are getting married then? God’s idea for marriage is companionship and faithfulness is very key in this relationship if you ask me. being that the Bible says that one can divorce on account of marriage infidelity…
the little knowledge i have on this topic can be credited to my love for reading, and watching those around and hearing from those who are already there. i believe marriage is a beautiful thing.highly valuable but i think we have moved away from what God meant for it to be and it is no wonder we are having issues left right and center.what,with the number of divorce rate ever increasing daily,you would think people get married to get divorced.
back here in Kenya,where i am from,there is a radio station that is always asking different questions about relationships and marriages and the callers usually have stories that would cause you to promise never to ever get married.suffice to say,i stopped listening to it.it was too depressing.i still believe in the marital institution though and i believe that marriages indeed can work.
a marriage is like a partnership,if it is not one.two people,who want to achieve the same goal come together and talk about their vision and then by use of a contract,they form a business partnership,where both have equal shares(in most cases) but each one has a role to play.they do not do the same things.well,people do not just quit a partnership at the first sight of a problem.they try and make it work.they combine efforts and look for solutions.for a partnership to come to an end,it takes a lot actually.either one person forfeits his duties or there are irreconcilable issues,which i believe will come about if the two start having separate goals and visions from that which brought them together.you may have different ideas but for any progress to happen,well,you need to reach a common ground.you need to become objective.to stop caring about who is wrong and who is right and just remember the reason for the partnership,with sober heads,that is if you want to achieve positive results,otherwise the partnership will end up being annulled.
marriage to me is as such.two different people come together,they are compatible and share the same vision,albeit from different schools of thought.they share ideas and find that they actually have a common goal,which i would like to assume is to spend the rest of their lives together.they may have different ways of going about it but if the goal is more important than the individual,then they compromise and find a way agreeable to them both and once that is determined and is for sure,they draw up their ‘contract’ by saying their vows and legalize this by signing the marriage certificate.the work has just began.the moment you say ‘i do’ and sign that certificate,that is work you have signed up for right there.maybe not the kind of work you normally do but relationships are work and a lot of it!
as in a business partnership,in marriage as well,there are different roles for every partner.it is important for these roles to be known from the word go and for one to not neglect his /her responsibilities.if we all play our parts,we would have very little to fight over or complain about.the man needs to know his place,as well as the woman.i am personally of the idea that the man is the head of the family and the provider while the woman is home maker.i do not mean a woman should not work and whatever,but her house should not suffer in the name of career.i will tackle that issue on a different posting to explain my stand on that.all i am saying is,the man and wife should both know what is expected of them and what they expect of each other.like they should make these known to their partners to avoid so much conflict.
God’s main aim for marriage is companionship. He saw that man was lonely and that is when Eve came into the picture.so man and woman are to be together to chase away loneliness from each other.that was God’s answer to Adam’s loneliness and i think that is the foundation of a man and woman coming together,or it should be.if you have that as your goal,well,you will not have issues of being a workaholic partner or a partner who is never there.you will not experience the loneliness in marriage that most people do today.
if you are married,ask yourself,why did you get married and be honest with yourself.if you are planning to get married,ask yourself why you want to get married.be true to yourself and find out if your reasons are actually right reasons.if you already are and you find out you got into it for the wrong reasons,it’s never too late to turn over a new leaf.discover what the right reasons are and start practicing them.
and of course,i still believe in love and that it should always be the one thing that holds two people together.love.love love.
Miss Adoyo 
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AWESOME writing and I agree with all you said. I especially ponder the part of compatibility and I think it’s a point of focus to understand why so many fail. If married young, how does one know what he will be compatible with in 10 years? As we go to college and/or learn a lot more about life and/or continue developing our ideas of what we want, it’s not surprising that one would realize he married someone he is not compatible with. It took me many years to know what would be the perfect one for me, but all the while I “thought” I knew. I hope my perceptions stay consistent, finally… 😀
well Scott, as they say, every day you learn something new about your partner… you get the one you are most compatible with and work together to ensure that you are always reading the same book, though different pages, you can always catch up. and yes, knowing what works for you is the first step to getting that someone who will be most compatible with you. thank you for stopping by, long enough to leave a comment.
true.there are those who get married because apparently the clock is ticking,and that is why i said,if you got married for the wrong reasons,find out the right and change towards that direction.until death do us part is a long time not to live happily i think.so we should do it once and do it right! thank you for stopping by. 🙂
I am sure some marriages are a product of societal demands and that’s all. Nothing but either of parties or both bowing to the pressure of the society we live in.