it had been months now.since the break up i mean.it had messed my thinking,dulled my smile.so many things were turned upside down.so many nights were spent in tears,while the days in going through the memories,every one at a time.remembering the laughter and the fights and everything else that happens between a ‘happy’ couple that is totally in love.we would finish each other’s sentences and thoughts.for us,it was not a matter of if but when we would tie the knot.i could hear the bells ringing from a distant,but everyday they seemed to grow closer.until that fateful day.when with a few words,my world came crashing down…it all happened so fast,it took a few days for me to come to terms with the fact that the future i had imagined,with him by my side was not going to happen.he,for some reason,had fallen out of love with me.something was missing.he couldn’t tell what,but he couldn’t ignore it either.he said it kept him awake many nights.that he would always have fond thoughts of me but he had to walk away and find out what it is he really wants.what he did know is that i did not fit in his ‘forever after’.
i simply stared at him with disbelief and shock and he did not wait for me to really react.blankness.oblivion.i think i called one or two of my girlfriends,being that the four of them showed up a few minutes,hours,i do not know,later.consoling me and telling me how im better off without him.(why do we always use lies to make ourselves better.if i was better of without him,i would have a glass of amarula or something,toasting away,not looking like some lost alien from i do not know which planet who had just landed on planet earth!)i know they meant well,but that did not make me miss him any less.
i don’t really like giving this story.this break up took so much from me but every story needs a back ground.and i had to tell it so that you will understand my shock when i went in to the company my company had referred me to for a number of months,on consultancy basis.