I listen to Maina and King’ang’i, by default.I was in a mat and classic 105 in the morning is like the swag for all matatus- at least most of them. Today’s topic is about a woman who’s complaining that the man has too many lady friends and its like he adds a new one every other day. Maina diagnosed the situation rightfully I think as a lack of trust and he said it is the number thing messing up relationships the world over. I agree with him – for once!

Trust is a delicate yet vital component in any relationship. Marriage, business, you name it.Even you boarding a matatu in the morning takes trust. you don’t think about it but you trust that the driver will get you to your destination safe and sound.If you had any doubts,you wouldn’t board it as confidently as you do and that is why once bitten twice shy. someone who has had their trust betrayed tends to tread very carefully where that person or situation is involved. that is why after being involved in an accident you may end up having a phobia for roads or even vehicles and probably just use them because you do not have an alternative. your trust in the safety of the road and the drivers was broken and it takes a lot of work for you to get it back.so,for any human being to function properly,some amount of trust has to be employed and if you choose doubt over it,let’s just say,you are setting yourself up for an uphill task kind of living where you will always be apprehensive,and checking your back and the like.In short, you will not enjoy life as God purposed for you to enjoy.

The Bible warns us about trusting man.So,am i contradicting myself?i don’t think so.actually,i think the Bible warns us from trusting man over God(i stand to be corrected) it warns us from believing in man too much because man is not perfect and he is bound to make mistakes so hey…i decided i will trust my man.if he was to abuse that trust and go ahead and cheat on me,i will cross that bridge when i get there but i refuse to be captive of thoughts of worry,every time he tells me he is meeting a friend or is working late.i refuse for my life to be controlled by unknown fears,which really don’t hold much water when you think about them.So,what does your paranoia over what your partner is doing when they are not with you,help you with,other than giving you sleepless nights,and high blood pressure and making you age faster because you rarely smile?

A mantra I have picked from one of my colleagues, ‘It’s never that serious’.Not to say that if your partner cheats on you it wouldn’t be a terrible thing but life moves on.the clock continues to tick away and as they say,you may not be able to control the circumstances that come your way but you most certainly decide how they will affect you.you either empower them or deny them any right in your life.Another truth i have come to accept is that,you never rally know,until you are in that place.You never really know how you will act,thus the saying,the wearer of the shoe knows where it hurts most.so what am is saying?

you will not have a successful relationship without trust.trust is not one of those things you can substitute.you will not be happy without trust.so trust.stop snooping around.play your part.be as honest as you possibly can.for yourself,not for anyone else.if another decides to abuse it,you are not in control of how anyone else acts but yourself,so deal with it then.be honest with yourself and them.think clearly and do not let emotions decide for you.a quote i read somewhere,can’t remember it clearly but it was something like,go with your heart but do not leave your brains behind!to simply mean,the heart and mind need to work together for the choices we make to be the best.Play the fool until the day you catch the fool but before then,enjoy your life.be the best you can be.as they say,you never miss the water till the well runs dry.and snooping through your partner’s phone or email or whatever,totally not cool.

xxx

MB

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