i heard the mail man walk up to my door step

i knew the timings the truck came along

the same time every week

and every week i held onto hope

every week i wished upon my imaginary shooting stars

every week,i allowed myself to get excited

but every week turned out to be the same

disappointments and a heartbreak is all i received

its like my fate had been decided

and the sun was never going to

shine on me again

and this week was no different

no special miracles for me in heaven

my angels must be sleeping somewhere

how else do you explain

the weekly pain brought about

by the mail man and his truck?

the weekly lost hope

the weekly wishing and dreaming?

i think i know what it means

the silence i mean

i just might be in denial

but you never said anything

and im not good at assumptions you know

so,you left one day and never came back

you called one day and that was the last time

your name appeared on my phone’s screen

you wrote one day and i have never again

received mail from you

part of me is worried

yet i know bad news spreads like a bush fire

i would have heard of it already

so probably you’ve just moved on

you just left that one day

and decided you were not coming back

maybe the grass was greener on the other side

or maybe you just had had enough of me

or maybe…

the maybe’s kill me

not knowing what happened haunts me

i wonder if its something i did or said

but wonder is all i do

no one to answer my question

even God seems to be telling me

to move on…

and i ask,move on to what?

maybe the question should be

move on from what?

closure,that’s what they call it

i don’t really know what it means

but it feels like my only option now

i need closure from you;from us

i need to do a proper send off

i need to say a proper goodbye

because that seems like

the only option i have left…

so this week as i wait as usual

for the mail man to ring the bell on my door

i won’t wait for him

to kill my hopes by not having a letter from you

i won’t let him bring down

the castles i have built in the air

i will not let him be the one

to cause my stomach to tighten

and my throat to choke

and my heart to almost stop

this week as i walk to open the door

as i go to pick up my mail

i will extinguish the flames of my hope myself

i will tear down the castles in the air

i will not wish upon my imaginary shooting stars

i will kill the dreams by blocking you out of my mind

this week as i pick my mail

i will not send out any with your name addressed on it

i will simply open the door with a smile

say a hello to the faithful mail man

pick the mail and say thank you

my step step  of a thousand miles

to the journey of saying goodbye to you

of letting you go and not in pain

choose to believe that wherever you are

you are so much happier than you were

when you were with me

and your happiness,though not with me

means so much more to me

because i love you and maybe always will

goodbye friendly stranger….

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One thought on “good bye friendly stranger.

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