He loves me
or he loved me
he said he would never leave
yet here i am
all alone in the rain
he was to be my umbrella
but i can’t seem to locate him
did i misplace him
no probably i forgot him somewhere
worse still
he got picked by another…
see,he was my first
i had never had
a man interested in me
now i don’t know
if he saw my insecurities
decided to toy with my feelings
for he stayed
though i was stubborn
he kept coming back
if you can’t beat em
join em
i relented
i relaxed
thought that maybe
he was different
i opened up to him
told him of my darkest secrets
laid it bare before him
like one undergoing heart surgery
he seemed too care
at least that’s what i felt
when he touched me gently
and said
“it’s gonna be ok.”
that touch was my
forbidden fruit
that led me
to losing my virginity…
he said
it would bring us closer
only after the undressing
and the caressing
came a few minutes of pleasure
followed by an ocean of guilt
and filthiness
what had i just done
and now he was nowhere
probably looming around
looking for his next prey…
maneno matamu
yalitoa nguo mwilini
so i stand
out in the rain
hoping that it will cleanse me
from the dirt i feel
that it will drown
all the feelings
of regret
will this rain
wash me clean?
a hymn mama loved to sing
what can wash away my sin
nothing but the blood of….
but he cannot do it
he is holy
why would he
waste his blood
on a wretch like me
another hymn
amazing grace…..
can you please stop playing games with me
i knew better
i let myself be led
like a sheep
to a slaughter house
i knew what he said
was not true
but i needed him
or so i thought
so i silenced the Holy Spirit
he didn’t understand
yet here i am
alone in the rain
wishing it could
drown my tears
I can hear him
sweet gentle voice
calling out to me
come just as you are…
Lord you don’t understand
cast your burdens
unto Jesus
Lord,you don’t understand
for God so loved the world…
but i did it knowingly
he came for the lost
but im so filthy
come let us reason together
though your sin be as red as scarlet
i will make them
to be white as snow
i will cast your sin
as for as
the east
is from
the west
in the sea
of forgetfulness
i will give you
beauty for ashes
let me
make you over
secondary virginity
with me you always
have options
how is it that you
still love me
Jesus already paid
the price
for all your sins
my grace ever is
sufficient
I am love
loved you from the beginning
love you and always will
not conditionally
but unconditionally
you are the apple of my eye
it hurts me so
to see you hurt like you are
i have good plans for you
plans for a hope
and a future….
He took me in his arms
embraced me with his love
gave me peace for my tears
healed my broken heart
made it brand new
he gave me purpose
turned a rugged stone
into a ruby
gave me a new start
a fresh life
a new morning
for anyone willing
he is available
he is waiting on you
to come back home
to see you from a distance
and run towards you
envelop you in his embrace
restore to you
what the devil has
stolen
there’s no sin too big
for the blood of Jesus
to wash away
and blot it out
forever
no matter what you’ve done
his love is still available
forgiveness is awaiting you
he does not see what you are
or what you were
he sees what
you can be
and in him
it’s too bright a future
for you to keep holding onto
the pain and tears
let them go
and let him
he’s got a masters
in mending broken hearts
healing wounded souls
give your mess over to him
trade it in for a brand new life!
Miss Adoyo 