Monday blues

I had a rather laid back weekend.nothing much other than what was going through my mind.I have been doing a lot of comparisons.Looking at other people and where they are at and what they have achieved and i end up feeling a bit inadequate?Don’t know if you’ve been there before.I was feeling a bit lost…Feeling like I had failed,somehow.Of course it’s not true.Most of the negative feelings we feel are rarely true.But well,I was a bit insecure and I was there wondering to myself,a lot of questions…

I feel like I haven’t made it yet,well that could be because I haven’t but yesterday I had to face a tough question,’Do i want to make it for me or so that others may see my and applaud me?’Honestly,it was more of the latter and God is like that is not the right motivation to do good things.Woah,it was a bit difficult to look reality in the face but the truth they say sets you free and my freedom is that at least now I know so I can change that and start doing things the right way.You see,you will never get much,if any,satisfaction from doing things to please the human folk.We just don’t get enough and we somehow lost the art of being thankful and being content and so we always want more and when that more comes,we either don’t like it anymore or we have something else capturing our attention.So,you can do it for you,because you know yourself and you know exactly what makes you happy,so its very easy to satisfy yourself.

So,being a gemini,i figure i have split personalities or something like that.There’s the psychiatrist/counselor/psychologist/you know,the one who has all the sense and facts and then there this other one who has all the negativity.And Miss.In charge me reminded me that we all have our different paths and your story will never be my story and vice versa.And that every time we forget that we have different scripts and we start wanting somebody else role then that’s when we start losing ourselves and we start living another person’s life.

And I had a chat with a special someone to me who reminded me of the same.That I need no one’s approval.That people should accept me as i am or else,walk away.So well,in my mind I was a failure but in reality,i am a young person with big dreams to make it to the top of the mountain and I may not make it there as fast as you did or you will,but you know what,id doesn’t really matter,as long as we both end up at the top.You know,there are those who can’t  fly so they will use rail or water or road,and they will definitely reach their destination and that’s the most important thing.next to it is to enjoy the journey.Take it all in and just enjoy.

I remember my first hike ever.To Mount. longonot..I did not even think I would reach halfway and by the time I was at the tip,some group of people were on their way back down and I somehow admired them but I did not wish to be them.I decided to enjoy my walking pace and in my time I finished.We are all different,with different paths and paces,and hence we should not compare ourselves with each other and end up making ourselves feeling bad because we are not where someone else is at.Stay on your course and as long as what you’re doing is right,then enjoy the ride.

To finish up,I am sleepy.

xoxo

Iperfectous.

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