i look myself in the mirror

with tears in my bloodshot red eyes

i try to understand why

so much hatred and rejection

comes my way.

what did i do wrong?

i don’t remember

writing an application

to be birthed into this world

i just found myself here

yet they responsible

treat me like an intruder

like i am a bad omen

they wish they could

get rid of

i did not choose

the personality type

isn’t a parent’s love

supposed to be unconditional?

so why do i feel

that you would like me more

if i was a different person?

times i do wish

i was different

then maybe i could

get your approval

and work my way up

to getting your love

but i can’t

and if wishes were horses..

but they are not

and i am who i am

partly because

of who you are

so why am i being punished

for things beyond my control?

i hope and pray

to hear you say

‘i’m proud of you’

i wait for the day

you will look at me

and see your child

and love me with all my flaws

i am broken

i am a mess

i am hurting

i am longing

for the love and acceptance

of a mother and father

i will wait

till i can wait no more

for the tears in my eyes

to be dried

by your touch

 

xoxo

imperfectous.

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