always love you…


Hope this letter finds you well.The last time I heard from you,you were good,or that’s what you told me.I hope that’s still the case.I have written and re-written this letter almost a dozen times.I just didn’t seem to get the emotion right.Trying to attain two things that are the opposite of each other at the same time.I want to be honest with you,yet I don’t want to hurt you but by my not speaking out we would be living a lie,so I had to make a choice and decide which decision I would be able to handle best.The truth they say sets free,so I will go with freedom.Sadly,freedom always comes at an expense and this time the expense will be paid by a heart I have loved and probably will love for all eternity.

Ours was to be a fairy tale,and maybe that’s where the problem was.Fairy tales don’t exist.We believed we were each other’s answered prayer,clearly our prayer requests got mixed up in the mail.Now,after opening my heart to you,after envisioning forever after by your side,I have to take out this ring and give it back to you for you to give it to the person it was meant for,definitely not me.

I have cried a lot,I almost dug a dam for myself as the tears were threatening to sweep me away.The truth does hurt and it was in your eyes and don’t they say the eyes are the windows to the soul?I had had my doubts.I pushed them aside believing my love would conquer it all but I am not God.I could not and that night as you stood holding my eyes I saw it in your eyes,I had already lost you.You tried to hide it but your heart was dancing to a new song and hard as you tried,it couldn’t be hidden.And we both pretended for a while.We cared too deeply for each other to ever think of hurting each other and I know it’s been harder for you as you are the one with the new dance,trying to remain still when your whole body wants to dance in the rain.I know you promised me.That you would never leave me,and that is why I am leaving you,I don’t want you to have to deal with the burden that you broke my heart,so let me do it for myself.Let me broke my own heart by walking away.

I know you will try to convince me we can make it work and a part of me wants to believe that so badly that I would let myself believe it but it wouldn’t be real.That’s why I chose to write.By the time you get this,I will be long gone and by the time our paths will cross again,her love would have nursed you to wholeness and you would be able to look at me without breaking down.

You have loved me like I have never been loved before and I guess that’s why it’s easy for me to put your happiness before mine.How did I know?Well,a woman has a way of knowing when she has lost something that she held dear.The day you met her,that’s when.The glow that had been lost in your eyes was back.There was excitement when you talked about her.You couldn’t notice it but I saw you fall in love with her,right before my eyes and I tried turning a blind eye but my heart knew and it screamed at me to spare it the torment.I tried keeping a brave face but I can’t no more.She is your missing rib and as much as tht truth hurts,letting you go is the only way how I can show you just how much I love you.

By now you will be thinking of calling everyone you know to ask them if they’ve seen me or if they know of my whereabouts but I want to ask you please,don’t look for me.Just don’t.I know I am being cruel,not giving you a chance to say goodbye,maybe because it’s not goodbye.Maybe it’s just ‘See you soon’.Don’t you worry,you always did worry too much.I will be ok.Just make sure you are happy.That will make me .happy.So don’t.Cry if you will my love for I know she will be there to be a shoulder for you and she is good for you.I have seen her around you.She will take good care of you and if she doesn’t,she won’t know what will hit her because I will never be too far from you.

I have to go now my love.And here is the beautiful ring you gave me.I’m sure it will look prettier on her.This is by far the hardest thing I’ve ever had to done.I will always love you.

p/s:anytime you hear whitney’s,always love you,know i am singing along with her,just to you.

Till we meet again my love….



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