For him,

I would have gone to the moon

And back.

I would have swam across

A crocodile infested lake

Just to see him again

I think I would have laid down my life?

Nah,even I wouldn’t be that silly

I guess.

I loved him

In short.

I loved the man

There was nothing

I wouldn’t have done

Just to see him smile

Maybe that was

My biggest problem

I loved him too much

Is that even possible?

Too much of something is poisonous

My love for him was toxic

It was killing me slowly

I saw it

I felt it

But like most women

I thought I could love him to change

Oops!How does someone change

What they don’t see as an issue

They make you want to go to the optician

Maybe your eyesight has problems

I don’t know who the emotions specialist is

Mine needed therapy.

I stayed.

Treated me like a door mat

Still I stayed

I loved not myself

I realize now neither did i love he

How do you love another

If you love not yourself?

He was my host

I was the parasite

I thought he used me

I used him

We used each other

Only I didn’t abuse

His emotions.

I needed a man to define me

I thought having a boyfriend

Would make me important

Would make me like me more

I hated me more

The situation was pathetic

I hated it

I hated me more

That’s why I stayed

I thought I deserved nothing

Believed I was worthless

I treated myself not with respect

How would another?

He made me feel good,

Occassionally

Until enough was enough

I couldn’t take it any more

I had reached my rock bottom

Had nothing to lose

I walked.Away

It hurt.

Cost me every emotion in me

But I walked

And for the first time

I felt the breeze in my hair

I actually felt it

And the next day when it rained

I did not run for shelter

I felt the rain

Every drop that fell on me

I suddenly was alive

I had resurrected

I was a living being again

I had lost that as a child

And walking away

Brought me back to life

Maybe I loved him in my way

We were bad for each other

I blamed him for so long

Until the sun dawned on me

No one can hurt you

Without your permission.

You too

Can walk away.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s