Dream again…

I had a lovely weekend. After the loveliness, some decisions had to be made and being I achieved most of my 25th year goals, it is time to come up with the objectives of 26. The main one being to do me. I have lived my life based on other people’s opinions for too long. I have lived wanting to be politically correct and obeying societal norms but now I stop and ask ‘Who exactly is this society and who gave it/ them the power to make rules and decide what flies and what doesn’t?’ I figured, I am part of the society and as thus, I also have rights to set my rules then. One man’s meat is another man’s poison. What works for you will not necessarily work for me and I am realizing that it is okay. We cannot all be on the same page.

I love reality tv, so my tv is usually between Style Network and E! Yesterday while watching one of my favorites series, I realized that I was watching these characters build their lives and live their dreams while I literally just watched. And it hit me the right way, in that it gave me some motivation to get off my ass and start making things happen for me. I honestly do not like hard work but no pain no gain and so I have to change tactics and how I do my things. I need to start living out my dreams and it’s so awesome that this realization has come now, when I am about to celebrate my 26th birthday, because that means 26 will be a year of dreams coming true. I am ready and prepared to do the work to achieve what it is that I desire…so watch this space…

It is never too late to dream again or to do that which you have always wanted to. Every new day you see is an opportunity for you to make your dreams come true. So do not dwell on what did not work yesterday or what mistakes you did; you can do nothing about that which has already happened but you can most definitely start afresh and make a brand new start to your life.So, go out and live your life

 

someone better…always…

I was having a conversation with my sister yesterday about how vain we can let our lives become and be chasing after the wind. Woah, Solomon really was a wise one. The case study was a friend of hers who is very beautiful and she knows it and she revels in it but somehow she always shrinks and loses her confidence whenever she meets or is in the same room with someone who challenges her beauty. And we went on and on giving examples of people who are always in competition with their siblings or friends or colleagues and some even strangers. That is not healthy competition because truth of the matter is, there will always be someone who is better than you. I mean, how long was Bill Gates the richest man before someone else took over? Well, it could have been for a number of years but you know what, someone else came and took over and that is just the cycle of life and that none of us can control.

This kind of competition screams of insecurities and low self-esteem and self worth. It means you are not really comfortable in your skin or where you are at in your life.It means you have not mastered the art of contentment.You know like Paul says in the Bible that he has learned to be content with whatever it is he has. What you have or do not have should not define you, because having and not having are somewhat out of our control. I mean, you may be living comfortable until a hurricane happens and everything you owned,is swept away,then what?Does that make you any less of a person?I doubt it,because the person you are is so much more bigger than the material things.

Sadly,this is not a condition for a select few.Some of us may not be able to admit it but there are quite a number of people who have this unhealthy competition going on and they die that silent death inwardly.I know I have been a victim from time to time.I have compared myself to other people around me and have been affected by what at the time i defined as success.They seemed to be at a better place than I was and so I somewhat belittled myself.A clear example is how after high school,it seemed all my friends were advancing their education while I was at home(not really doing nothing because I was my sister’s assistant at her events company). I was too affected by that which I did not have, in this case,finances to go to college,that I lost focus of what I did have,a job! At that time, joining college to me was a big deal. It meant someone was progressing in their lives and so I felt like I was stagnant but now looking back, the experiences I got from working first, no amount of school work can compensate for. And when I analyze it, that was not really my truth, it is just how society had set things in place. You finish high school and then you go to college, then you get a job. That was the seemingly ‘acceptable’ pattern but now I know better.Majority is not always right;it may always win but it’s not always right.

What now?Well,know yourself.Know who you are,away from all the definitions that you have heard since you could understand what people are saying.Write down all these definitions and then find out if they truly are your truths.Do you honestly believe them or do you just abide by them because they are all you know?If no one had told you say smoking was wrong,would you be smoking now or not?As in,find out what your personal belief system and abide by it.You will find that most of the things you try so hard to compete for or in,don’t really matter,if it was up to you.Define success for yourself and allow not anyone else to tell you otherwise.You are the one responsible for your happiness;do not allow anyone else to take that away from you.

You are amazing just as you are and you need to be confident in knowing that there is only one you and there will never be another like you.So what if you are not the prettiest?None has the same beauty as you.That and reality being that there will always be someone better than you,so don’t sweat it…

 

life is one long lesson;sub-divided…

Life is a never ending lesson. Just when you think you have it all figured out, it throws something your way that shakes your foundation and you find yourself tilting, if you have a good grip or you fall down, face down on the ground. You never stop learning, that’s what I have learned so do not be too hard on yourself if you have not as yet mastered the art of living. Like Jordin Sparks sang, just take one step at a time; live each day as it comes and celebrate the little victories at the end of every day, knowing that when the sun rises, you will have new wars to fight and so it is important to celebrate every victory because it is a never ending war.

I had gone on a break from writing. I felt I had somewhat lost myself (don’t we all, from time to time?). I have learned something here and there but the biggest lesson must be that when you are on a path and you feel lost, do not quit the journey altogether. Find  tree and rest under its shade and reflect on what the journey is all about? Why did you embark on it? As long as the purpose remains clear; the vision; you will always know what the next step to take is.It fully dawned on me what the Bible means when it says that where there is no vision people perish. A life without direction or purpose can be quite depressing. Where you wake up in the morning and you do not know what to do with yourself until night fall comes. Very dangerous. Times you may have something to do but you do not enjoy it and that as well is very risky, because you find yourself asking ‘What is it for?’ ‘Why am I stressing so much?’

Begin with the end in mind. Know what the goal is; where the finish line is and this way, no matter how many bumps you get along the way, you will be able to go over them because you know what you are going for. And let the goal be bigger than you.Let it be so much bigger than you that when you think of quitting, the goal can keep you moving. It can be the wind underneath your wings.

And so for me.Why did I start blogging?What was the reason behind Imperfectous?Is the vision bigger than me and if not, how can I revise it so that it can become bigger than me? What is my goal?My purpose?I believe once I answer these questions, I will always know where to look for strength and motivation, when I feel lost and dry.

Thank you for continually reading my words and for commenting and for sharing.

God bless you all abundantly.

Yours goal-oriented,

Imperfectous.

 

time to sow

The wisest man ever wrote that there is a time for everything and for me,it is my time to sow.Time to sow the kind of life I want to live;the kind of person I want to be.It is time to set the foundation.Time for me to sit at the Master’s feet aka God, and learn from him about who I am and who I was meant to be,not merely who I think I should be.Time to align my will with his will,which definitely is better and correct.When we are on the same page,I shall do the exploits of Daniel and his peeps back in the days.

There is a song that I love, Identity by Le Crea. The chorus says: I’m not the shoes I wear, I’m not the clothes I buy,I’m not the house I live in,I’m not the car I drive,I’m not the job I work, you can’t replace my worth,My identity is found in Christ’ and that is my truth. I realize I begin and end with Christ,or that’s how it should be.I have been wondering all over trying to look for the meaning of my existence, everywhere else,but the place I should have looked at,at the Master’s feet and now I am ready to learn;ready to be a student and receive all I can from him he knew me when I was formed in the inmost parts of my mama’s womb.

I have an idea or ideas, of what I want to be;who I was meant to be and I want to pursue that but I also want to be sure of my path.To know that when I decide to set out,it will be indeed in the right direction.Like Moses,I am telling the Lord that if he does not go with me then I shall not leave the place I’m at because I recognize just how important his grace and favor and presence are important for me to achieve my dreams and realize my success.I need him in every single way.

A certain blog that I follow has somewhat been communicating to me.I am sure Mastin does not know me,hell he does not know what I am going through,yet his words have been speaking to me ever so directly it got scary…lol.The power of words I tell you.And he has been talking about just following one’s path and letting go of the fear of the unknown and all and I am like, ‘wow,God,are you trying to tell me something?’ That’s why I need to align my will to God’s will then I will know for sure.What I know for sure though,is that I am not comfortable with where I am and I want change.

The first step is knowing the kind of change I want and how exactly to go about.Not have it all figure out,just the first step.To know where to put my foot.I ma excited and scared,both at the same time.I can feel like there is something great about to be conceived in me.I am ready for it now.I want it badly.I am done with the status quo and I’m ready to spread my wings and fly and find out what is on the other side.

But now,it is time for me to do the digging.It is time to gather information;it is just time to learn.

Keep you posted in this new journey.

Have a lovely day.

Yours,

Imperfectous.

 

 

People Pleasing…

I am pretending.I am acting.Playing a role of someone I currently am not.I looked around and was like,everyone else has moved on,why not me?Why am I still holding on?But now I know why?The others were not the victims.They may have been shocked by the events but they were not the victims.I was and every time I look at this person I keep wondering why I am acting.Why I am pretending and I’ve just had about enough.Now,I do not mind cordiality but this whole pretending like everything is fine when my hear hasn’t yet healed is a lot of bull crap(excuse my language)and I’m done. Call me childish if you may but I have the right to.I am not angry,I just need to let this wound heal and care not about what everyone else thinks.

I have paid too much attention about what every one else thinks; about what every one else will say and I do not have the energy any more. I got betrayed and it hurt me.It hurt me real bad and I will not continue acting like it did not.And so I will drop the pretense and right at the top of it is not to give something dear to me simply because I care about what people will have to say.

I am not saying it is going to be an easy route but you know what, I am willing to take it.And for me not to loathe this people for the rest of my life,I will need some distance;some space from them to just be,without them.I really need to work on me.I’m just done or on the residues of being a people pleaser and on caring too much about what other people think.I’m tired and worn out and I want a new start and I will get it.

I just needed to say this.

 

Irreplaceable…

I scroll down my face book friends just to see who’s online. And with every name I have a certain memory attached.I wonder what happened to some as, yes we are friends on face book but we rarely even just say ‘hi’ to each other.Some of those friendships that maybe ran their course or people who’s season in your life are just over.It is not that you fell out or anything dramatic like that,life simply took you to different paths and now you have new people who have somewhat taken the places of those who left.

But can the people we meet ever really be replaced?Can we say that X has replaced Y in my life.To replace is to take the place of,right?Is it possible for one person to take the place of another?Tricks I say.Why?Because every person is unique and so is every experience that they bring with them in our lives.I can never ever have the same experience with X like I did with Y.A rose flower cannot replace a lily.They both will beautify a place;they both have awesome scents,they are both flowers but very different.So no,no one is replaceable…

I stop at each name and remember something unique about the person and realize just how many people have touched me in one way or the other.I appreciate the fact that our paths crossed and knowing that we all left each other without banging the door at each other,that some day, maybe,our paths will cross again and we will pick up from where we left;like we never left.

Friendships are a necessary good…

xoxo,

Imperfectous…

 

road less travelled…

It is days like these that I wish I could just stay in bed with a mug of hot cocoa and a string of lovely movies/series to entertain me.This weather is not very hard-work inspiring.

I find myself asking how do you work with/someone you have somewhat lost respect for because of how they handle issues?Of course I have done a survey and asked a number of people and of course most if not all are for the idea to look for something else before you leave the place where you are.I realize I am not the only one who is afraid of the unknown.In other matters,the crowd movement would be so comforting but in this particular matter I doubt it.I keep asking myself how all those who traveled and those who continue to travel the road less traveled,did/do it?Did they like see a vision that told them they would make it or did they just follow their hearts and learned along the way?I find that these are the people I now want to have in my circle.I find these are the people I would like to hang out with.To find out how they managed to deal with the fears of the unknown and of possible failure.I want to know what kept them going when the going got tough.I would like to know how they managed to forge on in spite of all the criticism that surrounds those who dare challenge the status quo.I want to know;need to know because I really want to take the journey to that place where few travel.I want to find out for myself just how amazing or challenging it is and to know what weapons I need to arm myself with to make it and I know by listening to those who have been there;by picking their brains,I will get invaluable tips,so operation looking for role models is on!

ION: Respect cannot be bought.Just because you have a certain position does not guarantee that you will be respected.You could be feared but that and respect are very different.Dignity is the other thing that cannot be bought and you should hold it in high esteem.